She's A Trendy Designer On Her Wrists(May Be Triggering To People Who Self Harm)

Chapter 14

-1 week later-

I'm sitting at the back of the classroom with my head down and instead of concentrating on the periodic table I'm concentrating on not bursting into tears. The cuts I did on my arm in break are stinging like hell and notes are being passed back and forth about me. I know they're about me because every once in a while someone would look up at me with piering eyes or I would hear my name in a passing whisper. It was horrible, knowing all these people were talking about me behind my back, especially when I basically knew what it was about. I thought that after a week everyone would've forgotten about the fact that I cut or it would be old news but I was so wrong. If anything it had gotten worse.

I couldnt do it. i simply couldnt hold back the tears. my eyes began to water and there was nothing i could do about it. hoping and praying that no one whould notice but it was obvious that some on would because every one in the class was throwing dirty looks at me. hiding my face with my long fringe that just coverd my teary eyes trying not to make it look to obvious that i was crying. miss willson was walking round the class making sure that everyone was getting on with the work but when she got round to me there was no work on my sheet of papper what so ever 'why arnet you doing your work ashley?' i looked up. i had tears rolling off of my cheaks. she lent down next to me 'would you like to go out side and calm down for a bit' she wispered gently into my ear. a small part of me didnt want to because then the class would ask quistions but i really did need to go calm down so i slowly pushed my chair back and quikly slipped out of the classroom hopeing no one would notice i was going.

I sat on the ledge of the window in the deserted corridor crying my eyes out, god I'm so bloody pathetic. A while later Miss Wilson came out of the classroom door and as soon as I noticed her beside me I tried to wipe my eyes and put on a smile to convince her that I was okay but it was too late. "Ashley what's the matter?" She asked crouching down so that her face was level with mine. It held a look of sympathy, an emotion which I hated people feeling towards me.

"Nothing, I'm perfectly fine" I stuttered but she and I both knew that it was a lie. I studied the floor carefully while my stomach did flips, if I wasn't careful she'd send me to the year office and things would get serious. I didn't want any help.

"So bursting into tears in the middle of a Science class is normal is it?" She said looking me in the eyes "Ashley if you told me I would probably be able to help." That wasn't true, no one could help me. I was a lost cause.

"Really Miss, I'm just a bit teary because my dog died this morning" I replied not quite meeting her eyes but trying to look as believable as possible. I was getting better at this whole lying thing since I did it so often now.

"Okay, if you're sure...." she tailed off wanting me to say something back, I knew she believed me from the slight change in her tone of voice but she was just making sure.

"Yes miss, but can I go to the toilet quickly first, I need to clean my face up?" It was feasable, I mean make up was running down my cheeks, however I wasnt really planing to clean my self up....