She's A Trendy Designer On Her Wrists(May Be Triggering To People Who Self Harm)

Chapter 4

I tightly closed my eyes trying to block everything out. I had names spinning round my head 'emo, cutter' I just couldn't think of anything else. I pinched the skin on the top of my hand, the pain was almost unbearable but I just didn't seem to be enough. So it really didn't change how I felt. I knew the only thing that would work was if I was to cut my self again

I rolled violently from side to side of my bed trying to get compatible so could get some sleep. I simply couldn't get calm enough to fall asleep.i was beginning to give up trying to get to sleep because nothing was working

I lied there just staring at the celling. All of a sudden my body began to shake but more like a shivery shake and I also began to feel very cold and I mean literately cold. I was so scared I didn't know what was happening to me. I felt like some horrid person was controlling my brain.

I had voices equine through my brain 'CUT, CUT, CUT!' the voices were taking control of me and when I say taking control I mean taking control of me there was nothing I could do. I felt like I was being forced into listening to them so I let them have there way. I slowly pulled my self out of bed trying to make the least amount of noise I possibly could. I slowly lent down to pick up my hoodie up off the floor so I could get the blade out of the pocket. I felt way through the pocket, pulling out the tissue that contained the blade. I felt my hands jittering as I unwrapped the blade from the tissue. I could feel my heart pounding so hard I i was sure it was going to burst out right out of my chest as I held the blade tightly to my forearm. I slid it slowly but deeply across my skin. Watching as the blood slowly poured down my arm. The blood was bright but at the same time dark red I don't really know how that works but that's just my way of explaining it. The blood was pretty it was so satisfying.

After a little while of letting it bleed I picked up the tissue and held it tightly agents the wound to stop the bleeding and to avoid getting blood on my pjs or the carpet. I care fully started to wipe the wound, cleaning the blood from my arm. Eventually when it was all clean I wrapped the blade back up into the blood filled tissue and returned it back to the pocket of my hoodie before finely falling back to speed.