Chapter 11

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S A V A N N A H~

On birthdays, almost everyone across the globe relishes it. Some throw fancy parties to celebrate a reduction of their continuing years on earth. I know commemorating birthdays is just an elegant hoax to distract people from the fact that they will perish soon. A front to sidetrack how miserable we all are. Everyone is trudging inescapably towards our demise. But I know better, am not going to spend the rest of my life fantasizing about the day I was brought into this fucked up planet.

I yawn softly and hurl my duvet on the other side of the bed. I sit up and sprawl my legs softy. I peek at my mom and my dog's photo sitting beside my bed. I smile softly and pick the photo. This was the last photo I ever took with my mom and my dog. That was the very day I lost both of them.

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go". That was one of the things my mom told me every time I was sad over some lame shit, I never knew I would one day have to reflect on those words and try to make them happen in my life.

"Happy second anniversary in heaven mom and Bella". I mouth shakenly. I sniffle and wipe tears away from my eyes. "I love you and I miss you guys so much". I utter nipping my lips so hard so I don't cry. I bury my face in my hands and inhale as deep as I can.

I sniffle and jump out of bed to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and drag my fingers in my hair. I blow air out of my mouth. I open the tap and splash water on my face. I grab the face towel wipe my face. I look at the mirror at myself.

"Happy Birthday Anna". I mummer and pluck the scissor. I moan sharply and crawl my fingers through my long hair. I take a deep breath and take a big chop. They say, having the balls to cut your hair when you're sad means life is eventually going to get better. Even though I find it hard to believe, I will take a chance.

I smile softly at myself in the mirror when I eventually finish. I toss the hair in the bin, undress in step into the tub.

Soaking in that heated water, feeling it hug every inch of your skin so gently, breathing in the aroma of the bubble bath. It is my heaven, always my mini-vacation from all my worries, a place to breathe deeply and let my inner peace return.

I take an intense breath and lower myself under the water. I shut my eyes close hard and hold my breath. It's always quiet down here. Makes you forget your problems for a minute until you start choking on soapy water. I gasp loudly as I jump out of the tub.

******

My phone dings and I drop my lingerie on the bed and pick up my phone. My heart flutters when I see the name on the screen. I scoff.

ROMAN : [Happy Birthday!, make time after school. I will text you! Cheers! XX. :) ].

I chuckle softly, how does he know my birthday, never notified him and I don't have it on my Ig or any other social. How much digging has this guy been doing? Such a slime. I throw down the phone and unwrap my morning coat and slip out of it. I've been going through my dresser for the past fifteen minutes for a depressing cloth to wear but no luck. Why do I stay wearing bright colors when am a depressed soul? I give up and pull denim short and a white turtle neck bodysuit.

I look into the mirror and apply a slight amount of makeup to cover my bruises. I know Maggie is certainly going to tell my dad about those and I can't afford him coming to my school. That will make life more difficult as it's already is. I sigh deeply when am all done, I roll my eyes and clasp my bag and head out.

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