Save me from my own destruction- (Niall Horan)Book nr.1

It's time to tell them.

* Outside the flat*

" We shouldn't say anything until after we go to the doctor" Marissa suggested.

" Yeah, you're probably right" I said. Marissa smiled and kissed me. I was going to open the door when she stopped me.

" Be carefull, they are all asleep...it's 4 in the morning" She said. I nodded and slowly opened the door. We took of our shoes and sneaked in. Suddenly the lights came up and Zayn, Louis and Harry were standing all with their hands crossed over their chests.

Marissa's P.O.V

" Oh-o" Niall whispered.

" What were you doing? It's been 2 hours since Marissa left the building and god knows how many hours YOU left Niall" Zayn said and tried to contain himself for a second.

" Bloddy hell Niall ! Why are your fists bleeding! " Harry whispered shocked. Niall put his hands behind his back.

" Can we go now?" Niall asked.

" Don't you dare" Louis said and stepped in Niall's way. I was shocked by Louis's reaction.

" We were sick to death... We went out to look for you ! I don't know why but I got this really bad feeling" Zayn said and looked away. Zayn was so mysterious. He knew a lot of things that we didn't know about and he got a lot of skills that he liked keeping away from us.

" So, what were you doing?" Louis asked more calmer than before. I looked at Niall who looked at me.

" Alright then...I wanted to escape from the reality so I went down to the pub to have drinks..and I got in a fight which explains my fists...Marissa found me sitting on the street...That's kinda it" Niall said and I smiled. But the happiness lasted only few seconds.

" Lie" Harry said without any expression on his face.

" Excuse me?" I said rather surprised and raised my eyebrow.

" You're excused" Louis said. I looked at Niall who stared into Louis's eyes.

" Why are you saying that is a lie?" Niall said lowering his voice.

" Alright answer this question, which bar did you go to?" Zayn said and caught everyones attention.

" Luci's" Niall answered. Harry chouged.

" Wrong, guess again" Zayn spit out.

" What the fuck? Just leave us alone" Niall was getting frustrated.

" I know that you've been lying to us, so could you just spare us all a little time and tell us what the fuck is happening ?" Zayn said and looked me right in the eyes. Zayn had a straight line on his mouth and his hands crossed.

" Let's just tell them" I whispered to Niall.

" No" Niall said without breaking his eye contact with Zayn.

" Tell us what?" Harry asked but it wasn't really a question. I guess they three had a meeting before we came in.

" Nothing" Niall hissed at Harry.

" I used drugs. Heroin" I said and everyone in the room gasped. Harry backed away and Louis sat down in shock but Zayn stood the same way.

" Why aren't you surprised Malik" Zayn stared into my eyes,little like he knew everything.

" I knew it the day you came to the bungalow...red eyes, pale face,too skinny, dead hair...I knew it when you started to shiver right next to me in the sofa that you needed something to take in. I can't believe how no one could find out. Also, I woke up when Niall came in to grab the car keys and a bottle of water...I saw him picking you up from the ground and carrying you in the car...First, I thought you were dead, but I knew that Niall would had said something to us...So one day I went to meet Niall after he had been telling us that he was sick...I was gonna check if you were at his house...But when I didn't see you I got a bit scared. So when Niall went to the bathroom I took a look and saw that someone had been staying there too...Then I saw your phone on the nightstand...Niall's was there too...I saw that he had been goggling a rehab center..So I just knew"

This whole speech didn't just blow me away...but everyone. Zayn was in the same position. It was more like he was telling us about his day then that he had known about my drug abuse for 3 years.

" You're better then Sherlock " Louis gasped.

" How did you..." But Zayn didn't let me finished.

" When I suspect something, I can't stop" Zayn said.

Niall looked at me. He was so surprised.

"Wanna know more?" I asked. Harry looked around before he nodded his head.

And I told them everything. About Ethan, how I did use the drug, WHY I did it.

" I'm so sorry that you felt this way Marissa" Louis said after I had said everything they needed to know.

" No it's okey, I guess if it wouldn't be for all of you...you know the rest" I said and smiled weakly.

" So, the other night..you didn't try to commit suicide?" Harry asked.

" No..I met Ethan again and he and his friends drugged me, trying to get me addicted to heroin again" I said and avoid Harry's sad eyes.

" Where is Ethan now ? We need to kill that bastard" Louis said mad.

" It's already done" Niall muttered. Louis's eyes grew big.

"Please don't tell me that you did it" Louis begged scared.

" I wish, but I didn't have to" Niall answered shortly. " He did it himself..with a knife"

" Wow" Harry said and stroke his fingers through his hair. Nobody said anything for a long time. We all stood there, staring infront of us.

" So, no more secrets?" Louis asked and looked at me and Niall. Niall looked at me. It was mine to judge.

" I don't know how to say this" I said and found that my voice was shivering. Niall took my hand.

" You don't have to ,love" Niall said and kissed me on the forhead.

" No they should know..I'm done with secrets...they almost cost me you once..I'm done with secrets" It was getting hard to breath and all eyes were full of questions.

" One thing I knew about needles was.."

" Never share one" Zayn muttered.

" Right, never share one..And I never did, I was very strong about that rule. But the last night, I didn't know who made the needle, or if someone had used it before it was stuck into my body. It was Ethan's needle, I knew that." I stopped and bit my lip. I got sick in the stomach. I was so scared. I was more scared then I found out that I was pregnant and that scared me to death. I wanted to run and hide and never have to face anyone on this earth but...I had to tell them.

" And?" Zayn was getting worried. Everyone was. Niall squeezed my hand and whispered " You can do it"

" Ethan was infected with HIV" I tried to say this normal, and slow but my voice was shaking to much.

Shock.

Shock after shock.

" You...you think that you?" Harry's words could barely come out of his mouth.

" I'm not sure..I'm gonna take a test" I said.

" And Niall you are too aren't you?" Zayn asked. Still in shock. Niall looked confused.

" Why me? I didn't touch.." But Niall stopped and looked at his fists. His face got white as he looked at me.

I looked at his fists. He had open scars after he punched Ethan in the face. And there was no way telling if it was Niall's or Ethan's blood or both on his fists...in his scars..

" No...that couldn't be" I whispered.