Mister Clean Freak || Sakusa Kiyoomi

thirty-nine

iwaizumi would be lying if he says it doesn't hurt to see you and sakusa progress into the couple you're actually supposed to be. every time he would come to see you, somehow sakusa always seems to slip through the cracks and stand by you.

it's hard to see you standing beside sakusa or oikawa all the damn time. it's hard to compare what you have with him to what you had with oikawa or what you are with sakusa.

he never had lingering touches with you, just like you and oikawa. he never had feather light kisses like you and sakusa. and mostly he didn't, and doesn't get to have the chance to love you, just like sakusa and oikawa.

it's an ongoing competition between them three yet he already feels like he's kilometers behind them.

just at that song goes by miguel. "love you like a brother, treat you like a friend, respect you like a lover," but your love isn't a sure thing.

"what are you thinking about?" oikawa walks into him in the balcony, hands holding a can of some energy drink he bought.

"her." is what iwaizumi says, face completely unfazed but his shoulders are tense. his mind is running a hundred miles per hour, coming up with ideas to let himself come from his high.

"why her?" oikawa asks, taking the spot beside him.

"i don't know, why her? maybe because she's.. she's the only thing i can think about right now." the answer is straight to the point, no censor whatsoever, just his pure thoughts.

"oh? why so?" oikawa lays his eyes on iwaizumi, hand dangling the drink by his fingers. iwaizumi heaves a frustrated sigh, running his hands through his hair, scratching his scalp harshly.

"do you get that feeling that you're so incredibly into someone, but you're also incredibly uncertain if they also are interested?" iwaizumi releases his thoughts, questions ready to be thrown like disks.

"maybe because they're in a relationship that's why you're frustrated. i get it, me too, but maybe not as bad as yours." oikawa says, releasing a piece of his mind as well.

"you have a connection with them, that's something at least."

"yeah, when your son hates you because you left when he was born and came back years after to leave again. then you also have a daughter who simply thinks of you as her best friend. that's something i guess." oikawa snorts, tipping his drink to his lips and taking another sip.

"why did you leave anyway? you two could have been something so good, and then you ran." iwaizumi asks. oikawa heaves a sigh, slouching his shoulders with his eyes closed, ready to let out a proper answer.

"she was a second year i was in my third. we were together, i applied for argentina and she was incredibly supportive, but i got her pregnant." oikawa pauses, clearing his throat softly as he refuses to look at iwaizumi. "she told me, but i didn't want to be a father. i had a dream, something i was so passionate about, and i wasn't ready anywhere. so i just left like that."

"i want to beat you to ashes right now." iwaizumi says, cracking his knuckles. oikawa's eyes widen at the sound, causing his throat to grow drier than the sahara desert. "but i'm too tired for that bullshit."

"well i guess that's a plus for me." oikawa snickers with a bit of fear, taking a slightly awkward sip of his drink.

iwaizumi heaves a sigh, staring into the never ending distance. his can no longer pin point his real goal, nor can he pin point his true intentions. it's like a battle with himself, half of him says he should just obviously give up and take it easy, but the opposite side says he still has a chance.

"what should i do with you, (Y/N)?"

- - -

"hey mum." jiro calls from the other side of the room, holding his notebook at hand. you look up at him, stuffing half of the donut into your mouth while raising your brow at the youngster. "can you help?" he asks, walking towards you.

you quickly chew up the treat into your mouth, grabbing the closet napkin and wiping off the excess in your hand. "what is it?" you ask him, pausing the show you're watching as he takes the seat next to you.

"what should i put on here?" he asks you, opening his notebook wide. you look at the written text with squinted eyes, reading it mentally analyzing what it says.

"what is this for?" you ask him, softly taking the notebook from his hold and looking at the text. he looks away into the doorway, hand to his nape as he awkwardly scratches it up and down.

you wait for a couple seconds for his answer, crossing one foot over the other as you wait for him to elaborate. but to your avail, he says nothing. you lower the notebook from your face and look at him with a tad bit of concern, searching for his [E/C]eyes.

"jiro?" you call for him. he clears his throat at you lowering his hand from his nape, looking at you with his lip enclosed by his teeth. "what is this about?" you softly ask him, placing your hand on his fluffy hair.

"it's the event.. where uh, a male parental figure comes with their son to school for this event." he says in a low voice, eyes far away from you. his hands are entangled with each other, as his palms sweat profusely. "i really want to go since this is my first time with these kinds of events.. but i don't know who to go with.." he continues.

your heart physically breaks at the sight. his eyes still struggling to meet with your as he struggles to talk about the subject, squirming down on his seat while he tries his best to not stammer.

"jiro-"

"i just wanted to ask if anybody you know was available!" he squeaks out, voice breaking. he piques down after slightly raising his voice, taking in a deep breath. "you know.. since this year, tooru is back, iwaizumi is here, and sakusa-san too. i really want to try.. i really wanted to ask since.. since maybe next year they won't be here anymore." he heaves.

you move your hand to his chin, tipping it forward and looking him in the eye. "jiro, look at me." you say, and he does. eyes looking into your own. "don't be afraid to talk to me about these things okay?" you say, softly smiling at him.

"okay." he says with a light smile.

"and if you really want to go, you can ask them if you want. who do you want to go with, i can ask them if you don't want to." you say, moving your hand back to his hair and patting it down. his face quickly brightens up, eyes hopeful with a smile on his lips.

"i really don't want to bother-" you quickly cut him off. raising your finger to his nose.

"you're not going to bother anyone. just say it and i'm sure they will go." you assure him.

"okay. anyone who says yes then."

"your wish is my command."

[!]
the update for this week is slow, because i had a crisis. i had my birthday during the twenty second (of march) but i don't want to grow older anymore. stop this bullshit, please.