Only For You

Gone too soon

Nickolas' POV

We've been waiting here for only about thirty minutes but it feels like twenty four hours already, and am getting super anxious. So are Ally's parents who arrived here shortly after me.

I've spent the minutes glued to a bench in the waiting room, watching Ally's dad pace back and forth, its becoming increasingly irritating and hard to ignore. Aaron is still here too sitting next to me and Ally's mum. We are the only ones aware of what's going on and i would like to keep it that way for now.

Am just about ready to ask Ally's dad to sit down when the doctor arrives from the exam room where they took her. I know him, he is a close friend of Christians.

"Nickolas, hello... " He says, and i stand up, trying to read his face.

"Your wife is fine now, we just sent her to the recovery room and you may see her now"

"Thanks, and the baby?" am almost too afraid to ask. He eyes everyone around me cautiously, obviously trying to maintain some privacy and i introduce everyone to encourage him to go on.

"These are Ally's parents, and ofcourse you know my brother Aaron" i gesture to the people around me.

He nods at them and starts to explain what had happened to her and how they have dealt with it.

*

I watch Ally through the glass window in her recovery room. She's lying on the bed, awake and playing with the bedsheet with her fingers. She looks spent, scared, worried.

I approach her, needing to touch her, to have her in my arms again to feel with my hands that she is ok.

"Hey" i say, coming to sit by the bedside and embracing her.

"Hai" she whispers back over my shoulders, her arms going round just under my armpits.

Pulling back, i kiss her on the forehead before looking at her.

"How's our baby? everything ok?" she asks nervously, looking to the side where i see her mama and dad walk into the room.

"Nick?" She asks again, searching my face.

"Am sorry......" I reply, watching her. Am unable to complete the sentence, but she immediately gets it.

She nods as i explain what the doctor said but i don't think she is listening to me anymore. Tears fill her eyes and start to full down rapidly, blurring her vision, to the point where she has to blink a few times to clear her vision.

Looking at her, i stop talking, feeling my own pain and dissapointment overcome me. Not knowing what to say to comfort her, i embrace her again as she full on cries into my chest, and i can't help the few tears that fall from my own eyes.

We stay like that for a while, with no words spoken, as our hearts grieve our first child.

"Am sorry" She says, pulling away from me to look at me.

"Baby don't say that"

"Bbbut its true. It's my fault. Am ssooo ssoooryy Nick......" she stummers, starting to cry heavily again.

"Shhhh, it couldn't be helped. There was nothing you could have done to stop this from happening my love. " i whisper, moving her hair from her face, but she shakes her head. By now she is giving off soft whimpers and her body is shaking a little from.

Her eyes are red and puffy, her face flushed and and her nose is so stuffed she has to breath through her mouth.

"I want to die" She murmurs softly, wrapping her arms around her belly protectively. "I just want to die"