The Colt & The Cobra - THE SPECTER SERIES [book six]

Chapter SIXTEEN

This isn't who I am.. At least I don't want to be..

I am not this selfish asshole..
I'm not the kind of guy that takes advantage of a vulnerable woman like this..

With a pained grunt, I gently hold her up, taking her by her petite shoulders, speaking soft and careful like, since the last thing I want is to push her away or upset her.. "Mikki-Sweetie, stop.. Not like this, Sugar.."

Her brows knit together in hurt confusion.. "I-I thought you-- um.. Oh, god.. I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry--"

She shakes her head blushing rhubarb red with humiliated heat, leaping to her feet..

I reach out to take her hand and she freezes up, giving me those shining doe-eyes, a slight tremble to her fingers against mine.. "Don't be sorry, Sugar.. It's not you.. I swear.." I tug her back towards me, coaxing her to sit with me again.. Just because I shouldn't, that doesn't mean I don't want to be as close to her as possible..

Hesitantly, she settles in.. "If it isn't me.. What is it?"

I sigh.. "It's just-- not right.."

"Oh.." She hums disappointedly.. "You mean-- because of Juliette?"

Why does Mikki keep coming back to that?

I wasn't lying when I told her Jules is like a sister to me, I've never considered the idea of anything else..

Yeah.. Maybe it's strange for me to be so close to my cousin's widow, but he made her a Knox when he married her, and that makes her family to me.. So what else am I supposed to do, leave her to run the ranch Kane had always dreamed of, all by herself?

Nah, family has to stick together.. I'd never abandon Juliette..

So while I spend most of the year working Specter's contracts in the city, once a month I drive up here and make sure she isn't struggling..

Which she never is, by the way.. The woman is made of iron, Juliette might just be the toughest philly of all..

"What? No.. Listen, Mikki.. I try to be a good guy but--" I can't hold her gaze, it's so intense, searing scrutiny, so instead I focus on her cute little cocoa curls, twisting them around my fingers.. "I've done some things I'm not proud of.."

"Like what?" She probes..

A long list of fuck ups comes to mind, too many too count, so I start with the recent and obvious.. "Like abducting you.. Sugar, I'm real sorry if I scared ya.."

She tips her head curiously.. "Why did you take me, Colt? If you aren't going to kill me, then this isn't revenge.. You said you aren't going to ransom me and this isn't about money.. But now you don't want to fuck me, so it isn't about me either.. I just don't understand what is happening?.. Why would you do all of this?"

I feel a little sickened with myself to hear that on some level she'd been wondering if I'd taken her for some sinister perverted reasons.. Especially since only a few moments ago my mind had been filled with all kinds of explicit and indecent thoughts..
"Right, firstly, if I was going to kill you I'd have done it already, and I definitely wouldn't have introduced you to a bunch of witnesses before doing it.. Second, extortion via ransom is rarely successful, Sugar, Cops get involved, fingers get chopped off, its a whole fuckin' mess of disasters waiting to happen, that's just common knowledge.. And third.. I never said that I don't want to fuck you, Miss Mikki.. It just wouldn't be right for me to go takin' advantage of you after all you've been through.. And the fact you're clearly fuckin' scared of me ain't helpin much.."

She bites her bottom lip.. "I'm not scared of you.." I can see the lie in her glassy eyes and she sighs.. "Okay, when you talk about fingers being chopped off and all-- maybe I am.."

I smirk tiredly.. "Yeah.. So, what's happening is I'm gunna prove to you that you can trust me, by doing the job I was hired to do, exactly like I promised you I would.. And right now, I'm just trynna keep you safe until I can figure out what happened to your boyfriends.."

A disapproving frown darkens her delicate features.. "That's not funny.. You know I don't--"

I shrug half heartedly.. "Lovers then? Whatever you wanna call 'em.. Diesel and Mr DEA.. One of 'em is decommissioned and the other is missing.."

She scoffs, but I can see the relief in her eyes at my attempt at a lighter tone.. I'm not trying to make her feel any worse.. "You're such a jerk.."

I nod, not disagreeing with her.. "Yeahhhp, baby-girl, but I'm tryin' real hard not to be.. So as bad as I wanna kiss you.. And, Sugar, I really fuckin' do.. I'm not gonna be another guy that brings you pain, Mikki.. That's not who I wanna be.."

Her eyes search mine for sincerity.. "Oh.. Colt.. That-- that's the nicest thing anybody has said to me s-since--" She tears up, turning her cheek to me, ducking to nuzzle into my chest so that I won't see her cry.. "Thank you.." She whispers so quietly I could be imagining it..

There in the darkness we slip into a comfortable quiet, her fingernails tracking ticklish little trails back and forth over my arm, my own fingers soothing circles against the small of her back, her sleepy sighs lulls my own breath to match hers, her presence calming me completely..

.......

When I stir awake in the dusty sunrise light that peeks over the horizon to flood through the windows, bathing the room in a soft warm glow, for just a few seconds everything feels like a dream..

Mikki sleeps, curled up against my chest, her tiny hands wrapped tightly around my forearm as her petite shoulders rise and fall in a slow peaceful rhythm..

She feels so small in my arms, delicate and dainty.. And she's warm.. Fuck, she's so warm..

Careful not to wake her, I reach up to brush her caramel curls from her cheeks to better see her sweet angel-face..

Goddamn..
Will looking at her ever get any easier?.. She's the kind of gorgeous that just gets to a guy.. That creamy buttermilk skin, those rose-pink lips.. She gets to me..

Mikki gets under my skin..

She mumbles, squirming around.. "Hmmnn--" Her button nose scrunching up in discomfort, making me wonder what she might be dreaming about..

She shifts, slowly blinking awake with a stretch, peering up at me, a little shocked to find herself still in my arms
But let's be real, as if I was going to move her..
"Oh.. Hey.. Good morning, Cowboy.." She smiles..

"Mornin', Miss Mikki.."

A loud clattering in the kitchen tells me Jules is awake.. Grinning at the gorgeous goddess in my lap as she sits up to rub her tired eyes.. "Ya hungry, Sugar?"

Mikki nods.. "Starved."