Seems Like Forever

Heaven Is Hell

*Trigger warning!!!* 

-A week later-

I wake up in the same bed I've always have, but ever since Chris has been gone it feels more spacious. I miss him so much, I feel like I should tell him I want him back but if he cheated on me once how would I know if he won't do it again? My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating. 

Balz: Hey, Motionless is going on tour soon and I was wondering if you want to come over for our go away party? a lot of people will be there so dress pretty <3

Me: Sure, when is it?

Balz: This Saturday at 6

Me: Okay, I'll be there! 

Balz: See you then :)

-Saturday afternoon-

I look at myself in the mirror and put the finishing touches on my makeup. I'm decided to wear a strapless black dress that ends in the mid thigh area, black leggings, and black high heels. I kept my hair down and straightened it.

-5:45- 

I get in my car and head over to their house. When I get there, there are tons of cars parked around the house. I get out of my car and walks towards the door. Balz opens the door before I get up the steps and he smiles.

"Hey Amanda, glad you could make it! You look great!" he says smiling big. 

"Thank you" I say happily. 

Me and Balz walk in together and Sarah and Ryan are sitting on the couch talking to each other. Sarah looks so happy with him, her being happy makes me smile. I start walking around the party to see if I can find someone I recognize. 

**Chris**

"Chris are you even listening to me?" Maria says to me. 

"Yeah, of course" I lie.

I look over at the beautiful blonde next to me. We got to be friends after I was in the Whore music video with her. Now that me and Amanda are over and I know she hates me I decided it's best to move on. 

She sighs and leans in and kisses me, I kiss her back. I hear a gasp and pull away from her and look over to see Amanda. I stare at her and watch as she runs away. 

"Who was that?" Maria asks. 

"No one special" I say and lean in and kiss her again. 

**Amanda**

I run out of the house with tears in my eyes. I run into Devin near the door and he grabs my arm. 

"Amanda! What's wrong?" he asks worriedly.

"N-nothing" I say and run out of the house and into my car.

I drive home as quickly as I can and run into the bathroom. I pull out a small box that I hoped to never see again. I open it and pull out a razor and hold it to my wrist and hesitate for a second then start to slide the blade across my wrist and watch the blood dripping down my arm. I cut up my arm until there isn't anymore room to cut. I feel only numbness and the pain from all that Chris has caused me. I clean up the blood off of the bathroom floor and lay down in my bed then cry myself to sleep. 

-

When I wake up, its almost noon and I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand beside of me. When I look at my phone there are a few messages from Devin. 

7:36-What's wrong, are you okay? 

8:10-Please respond to my messages.

There are also a few missed calls. As I'm reading the texts he sent me I get another one. 

I'm coming over.

I panic a little remembering last night so I quickly get up and slip on a long black sleeve shirt and just throw on some black shorts. Devin shows up not long after and I walk to the door and answer it. 

"Amanda, please tell me whats wrong" he begs sadly as he walks in.

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry about it" I say as I turn around. Devin grabs my arm and I flinch in pain. 

"Amanda" he says softly "pull up your sleeves, now" he demands. 

"No" I panic and pull my arm away from him. 

He takes my arm again and pulls my sleeves up he gasps and looks at me sadly. 

"Why, why did you do this?" he says sadly. 

I look down without saying a word. Devin pulls me into a hug and doesn't let go. 

"What's going on?" I hear a familiar voice say. I look up and see Chris, Devin's lets go of me and Chris looks down at my arm. 

"You're pathetic Amanda" he says coldly then walks into the house. I feel tears building up in my eyes so I look down. Devin walks after Chris and I watch him walk away as I blink and wipe away the tears. I hear some yelling coming from the bedroom and I try to get close enough to hear what they're saying.

"Why are you being such a dick!" I hear Devin yell.

"Why don't you just fuck off!" Chris yells back at him. "Why are you even here?"

"Because I care about Amanda, unlike you"

"I'm only here because I forgot something, so just let me be so I can leave"

It goes silent after that then Devin walks angrily out of the room and wraps his arms around me to comfort me. Chris walks out of the room soon after and mumbles something before he walks out of the house. 

Devin hangs out with me for the rest of the day, the whole time we just talked about random things and watched movies. 

The girl I dedicated this chapter to helped me write almost all of it <3