Truly Yours • Kim Mingyu

[twenty-seven]

"Is anything troubling you? You can talk to me. I'm always here." I say.

He takes deep breaths, allowing his chest to rise up and down. He begins speaking, "16 days later, when we decide whether our paths will be together or not, that day, I've an art exhibition. It's the first exhibition of spring. Alot of people will be there, significant people. It's also the first time my mom will come to my exhibition. She always wanted me to become a prosecuter or a lawyer. That's why she never really supported me as an artist. I'm nervous. I don't know what to show them. I suddenly feel really lost and afraid."

I exhale deeply. I never knew he was going through such hardships and I feel guilty that I didn't consult him about this matter.

"You know, stars always shine brightly wherever they go, like beacons of hope for all the lost souls of the world. You've been shining with a light brighter than any light I've ever seen. You and your light have given me hope. The name of your gallery really stands for who you are Wonwoo. So my beautiful star, don't be scared. If you find yourself lost, hurt or confused in the midst of your journey, know that a new beginning is coming. Please know that everything is spinning and turning inside of you in order to form new worlds that you can't even imagine yet. It may take awhile, but everything is quietly working under the surface to bring a new light - and it'll shine brighter than ever; I promise."

I continue, "God is there. He sees your hard work, He knows the best. God will make everything right as long as you don't give up and stay true to yourself. You'll do great. You have all my best wishes."

"Also what am I about to say now is something I should've said the moment you showed me your first artwork. I am not saying this to make you feel better or to encourage you. I'm not saying this as your girlfriend or even as your friend. I'm saying this because you really need to hear this from someone. And I would like to be that someone for you." I inhale. "I'm proud of you Wonwoo. I'm so proud of you."

He sighs against my hair and holds me much tighter. His heart beat starts to return to his normal, calm pace. "That's the first time someone has ever said that to me. Thank you so much Miyeon. For everything." He says slowly. His apprehension has alleviated alot since the beginning of our conversation. That's a relief.

I feel him smile and that brings smile on my face too, knowing that my words brought peace to someone; someone I care about.

"You are most welcome." I say.

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.
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"I can feel our time halting, yet I'm only loving you more than I did yesterday. How will I let go of you Miyeon?"

***

It's already dusk when we arrive home. There is an unusual black van parked outside our house. I've never seen that before. I wonder why it is parked here out of all places. Does our house look like a petrol station?

Ignoring the bothersome position of the vehicle for now, I unlock the front door with my spare keys and go inside carefully.

The first scene that appears before my eyes completely breaks my heart.

A huge suitcase is laid on the floor, the boys are running around and packing random snacks inside a backpack, even from here I can see their teary eyes glistening.

Jeonghan is all dressed up. He is standing beside the suitcase, regarding them with a faint smile, his arms folded over his chest and eyes brimming with affection.

It hits me.

That van from earlier . . .

He is leaving.

Right now. 

Jeonghan catches sight of me. His smile disappears, superseding with poignancy.

I lose it all. All my anger and stubbornness. 

I run to him and throw my arms around his back. I start crying. My grip becomes tighter as my sobs become louder. He wraps his arms around me and pats my head. "There there my baby sister."

"You could've least given me a heads up you idiot." I say while weeping. He doesn't reply.

"Are you sad that I'm leaving?" I hum indistinctly and nod. Watching me cry my eyeballs out, the others start crying too. Very loudly.

I'm surprised that the most crybaby among us a.k.a. Yoon Jeonghan hasn't shed a single drop of tear yet.

He loves this family with all his heart. Everyone here is like little irreplaceable pieces of his soul. If he had to leave us even for one day, he would be the most sad one among us and would cry an ocean.

And today, he'll be going so far away from us for who knows how many months. Yet, he is keeping himself composed. He is staying strong for everyone, although his heart is bleeding for them. I know it. This is one of his eldest one in the family moment.

The sadness can't be helped. It's his first time leaving home. As much as we don't want him to leave, we can't ask him to stay. It's for his own good, it has to be done. He chose this life for himself. All we can do is earnestly support him.

Being an idol must be so hard.

"We have to go now Jeonghan-ssi." A voice from outside calls out for him. I can tell by the tone that it's his manager. I wish he called him a bit later.

Jeonghan loosenes his embrace. "Big brother will be back before you know it." He says assuringly and wipes my tears with his thumb.

"Be a good girl and don't cause trouble. I'm only one call away whenever you miss me." He smiles warmly, even though his tears are on the verge of falling.

"Take care Mimi. I'll see you all very soon."

"You take care too. Have a safe journey." I say as I give him one last goodbye hug.

He hugs everyone else who are blubbering messes right now. Seungchol gives him a quick peck on his cheek and wishes him luck.

We all walk him to his van. He gets inside hurriedly. We silently watch him buckling up his seatbelt.

After that, he waves his hand while mouthing, 'Bye bye, I love you all so much. Watch me on tv!!'

His manager closes the door and in a jiffy, the van dashes away; leaving us with tears and a void of emptiness.

***

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