Tommyinnit Oneshots

Talk About It (2)

A/N - This is just a part two, there will be no future parts. In case you need a refresher, Tubbo just found Tommy in the Nether where he admitted some heavy stuff about Dream and his exile. In this part, Tubbo, Sam, and Puffy finally sit down with Tommy and have a therapeutic discussion. 

Warning, Tommy ends up being very out of character in this one. There's only so much you can address, and I didn't really show him bottling up his emotions as he realistically would. Conversation doesn't really... happen... they just kind of supportively rant, but they're not therapists and also, they're emotional here too! 

TW: Referenced suicide, manipulation, self-hating thoughts and words, swearing

Sam

Tubbo whispers to you: Tommy needs some friends he trusts right now, can you and Puffy meet us at his house?

You whisper to Tubbo: Of course, will he be comfortable talking to us?

Tubbo whispers to you: Yep, and it's time for him to have a therapy session

I turned to Puffy and relayed Tubbo's message to her. I saw relief and worry clash in her eyes, and felt those same feelings at conflict within me. We would finally be able to help Tommy, but what happened when Tubbo went after him? Where did they go?

We hurried to Tommy's cobblestone house, its ugly material somehow endearing because of how much Tommy loved it. I was reminded of how he never built his annoying cobblestone towers anymore, or anything really. I wondered if, maybe, he didn't want to take up space or draw attention, and the thought made my heart ache.

We arrived to see Tommy and Tubbo curled up on the floor, Tommy's head resting wearily upon the shorter's shoulder. Tommy met my eyes but said nothing, while Tubbo gave me a sweet smile and waved. I could see the worry behind his crinkling eyes and only got more concerned about what had happened.

Puffy wasted no time voicing our thoughts. "Is everything okay? What happened?" She asked in the motherly tone reserved for the only two boys.

"Tommy? Do you want to tell them?" Tubbo said gently. "Mhm," the blond whispered. He took a deep breath, and something sparked in his eyes. It reminded me of the old Tommy, and a flicker of hope ignited in my mind too. 

"I went to the Nether to... visit the lava. It's an exercise of mine, to prove to myself that I'm strong enough. I don't like it very much since I'm scared of the lava and always end up a mess, but I go there almost every day. If I jump, I'll finally be strong enough. But I never am, which proves that I'll always be too weak to ever hope of escaping Dream. He's in prison, but I still hear his voice echoing in my head, constantly telling me what to do and what to say. Or rather, what not to do and what not to say. I'm insane, man, I'm fucking broken."

I processed his words, in a slight state of shock. Rage bubbled within me for the green bastard who beat Tommy down and manipulated him and I struggled to keep myself from marching right down to that prison and getting revenge. But I held still, focusing on the boy in front of me. His revenge was not mine to take, and there were important matters to attend to.

"Tommy, you're not broken, you could never be broken. You're not weak, you're not insane, and you're. Not. Broken. I know that might be hard to believe right now, and you don't have to right away. It's going to take a while, but we're here for however long it takes to convince you that you are strong. Because Tommy, you're the strongest person I've ever met."

There was a beast in Tommy that had been growing for so long, burying its claws in his mind and controlling everything he did. I could see the monster Dream had nurtured rear its ugly head and try to get Tommy to give in, but I knew he was strong enough.

I realized I had been looking in his eyes, watching this battle unfold, for a creepily long time. Puffy gave me a curious look and Tubbo's were furrowed, but Tommy understood what I was doing, which was all that mattered. I tuned into Puffy, who had taken her turn to speak.

"Tommy, I want to help you. I care about you and as much as you try to hide it, I see every day the gears in your brain turning and convincing you of these things you're telling us, but they're not true. Just like Sam said, you're not weak or broken, you're strong! And buddy, you're insane in the absolute best way. Not in the 'hearing voices' way, but in the 'genius' way. Your plans and ideas have always been wonderfully chaotic and out-of-this-world, and I'd give anything to hear you talk about them again."

Tears were falling down the boy's cheeks, and his eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief. I sighed inwardly, sensing what was about to happen.

"You're all lying. You are! You don't care about me, you just want the old Tommy back. Well, guess what?! I'm not the old Tommy. I'm the better Tommy, who knows when to shut up and when to disappear and knows the truth: that I'm not worthy of love or kindness or protection. I deserve punishment, I deserve to be ignored, I deserve to be forgotten. So why can't you all just forget me?! Why do you keep pushing me?! I don't get it, I really don't. Why are you doing this? Why?" 

His rant started out as a shout and ended in a whisper, and his words made tears sting my eyes. Tubbo's face was screwed up in pain and I heard Puffy sniffle, but this was part of the process. His problems were deep, and couldn't magically be healed, but we would help him. And so, that's what I planned on doing.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, and I'm sorry it's made you feel this way. I'm going to prove to you that we love you and we care about you, even if it takes the rest of my life. We don't want the old Tommy back; we loved him, but we love you just as much. All we want is for you to feel okay again. Because the truth that you and I both know is that you don't feel okay, and you deserve help. That's why we're doing this, and we're going to keep doing this until you escape Dream. You're not insane, you're absolutely right. It's his words echoing in your mind. But hopefully, we can drown out that voice with kinder voices that tell you nicer things and don't make you do anything you don't want to do."

That day, everything we said was entirely the truth. We spoke at least once every week, encouraging Tommy to ask us for help. Things like his fear of lava and loud noises lingered, but we got him to stop going to the Nether. We got that voice out of his head, and we got parts of our Tommy back with new parts added, and we loved him all the same.

(A/N, skip if you're not interested)

This was very therapeutic for me to write, thanks to the person who requested this! I hope this did justice to your idea.

Sorry this took me a while to post, but not really. I don't like to write when it feels like work, and it felt like work for a while. The quality is better when I'm not straining and I also have more fun, so it's better for everybody. I'm working on a part 2 for River Bed, I think it should be out later tonight or tomorrow. That's it, hope you enjoyed.