The Raven's Source

Chapter 48 - Confessions of a Raven

After staying even longer for dinner at Twyn and Ilyana's, Sheja and Leena leisurely walked home hand in hand. The walk was silent for most of the way, only the sound of the path beneath their feet crunching and shifting as they walked. They paused briefly to look at the space that once was Cerno's manor. A new foundation had already been set and the framework for his new home completed. Sheja was a little surprised that Cerno wasn't behind the build of his new home himself, but he, Rosalie, and two other Guardians had left Saorsa on other, unnamed business.

As they stepped into the warmth of their home and Sheja took both sets of jackets to put away, Leena finally spoke up as she stood just inside the living room area.

"You told my brother what he wanted to hear to get him off your back," she stated softly as she leaned against the back of the couch. "You're still very much in panic mode right now, aren't you."

Sheja didn't immediately turn to face Leena. "Yeah," she replied truthfully to her wife. "This feeling isn't gonna go away any time soon, but I'm a little more at peace with the decision to accept it because of our talk."

"Are you?"

Sheja turned toward her finally and walked over to her, laying her hands on the sides of Leena's stomach. She smiled as the lives inside her wife bumped softly against her palms, almost as if to say they recognized her presence.

"It's okay if you're not," Leena assured after Sheja's silence.

"I'm not completely okay but yes, I am more at peace. We don't even know, Leens. This could still be just a panic for nothing."

"I think deep down inside your heart you do actually want this. I think you want this way more than you think," Leena said softly, laying her hands on top of Sheja's. "I think somewhere in the back of your mind, you're praying for this to blossom."

"That's a lot of thinking. Why do you think all that?" Sheja asked with a frown.

"You got carried out the door as Shej and was carried back in as Yaya. Why did you not shift back after the whole thing? To my understanding, you don't have a uterus in your male form and no uterus means definitely no pregnancy."

Sheja froze, Leena hitting a nail on the head that she didn't realize was there.

"Am I right?"

"I don't know," Sheja said quietly, lifting her sweater and looking at her own stomach. She was having trouble imagining her stomach protruding out like her wife's. "I don't even know if I can get pregnant anyway."

Leena chuckled as she reached up and playfully grabbed Sheja's breasts, giving them a taunting bit of squeezing.

Sheja dropped her sweater as her body curved in on itself, letting out a short burst of laughter as she pulled away. "Hey now, handsy!"

Leena laughed, "My point is, you're all woman and you always have been. Why wouldn't you be able to have a child?"

"Eh..." Sheja suddenly blushed, coming across a topic she's never had to talk about before. "I think I screwed up the whole puberty thing by growing up in a male façade. I've never experienced a menstrual cycle and you kind of need those, don't you?"

"Wait. Like, ever?" Leena sounded shocked. She suddenly realized that she had never put thought behind this herself and only now noticed she had never witnessed Sheja dealing with her own hell weeks.

"Not even cramps."

"Lucky," Leena groaned.

"Anyway, in case I'm able to, I still need something from you. Kinda got a short window for this, if I can even make do," Sheja said with a sigh, taking Leena's hand and holding her palm upwards. "I promise this won't hurt," Sheja said as she pointed to one of Leena's fingertips.