The Raven's Source

Chapter 20 - Fears

"Shej, can we talk somewhere private?" Twyn asked, quietly.

"I'm fine with that but it won't be as private as you like. My brother has ordered Rose to keep a tight eye on me until we can figure out who is trying to kill me and why."

"That's acceptable," he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

The two of them took a walk together through the village, Rosalie not too far behind them.

"I'm sorry," Twyn started as they came up to an empty park. He sat down on the edge of the merry-go-round. "I really, really am, Shej."

"I told you, I forgive you."

"Do you though? You've been avoiding me the last several days. Not to mention that you're back in your normal...well, normal to me form and covered neck to toes. It's summer, aren't you roasting?"

Shej stopped in his tracks and looked up at Twyn who was staring straight at him. "I guess fear makes you feel cold," he admitted silently.

Twyn flinched. "Please don't fear me, I don't want you to not be you because of this."

Shej looked back at Rose before he made the decision to shift again. Shej's hair stretched toward the ground, hanging around her shoulders and she just overall looked more petite than her male façade. Her sweater became a little more form fitting and she wrapped her arms around herself to block any views to her chest.

"Thank you." Twyn sighed then looked disturbed with himself, "Shej, I really have no idea what happened, but I do know what did happen wasn't me."

"I know. I'm not afraid of you, Twyn. I'm afraid of what someone could make you do. The pain and danger that night was very real, and it was...it was still your body forcing itself upon me," Sheja admitted painfully, still standing a few feet away. "I never realized how strong you really are and if I didn't have magic, you would have raped me, Twyn. And according to what you said that night, if I couldn't have stopped you, you might have killed me if I kept fighting...and I would have fought until I couldn't."

"I'm still having trouble dealing with what happened. I really wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you hadn't knocked me away and I had actually..." Twyn's tears cut into his voice. The words were foreign and he couldn't bring himself to say the word rape, not when it came to him and his best friend. He wiped his face again before continuing. "...and if I had killed you, I don't know what I would have done with myself."

"We are going to figure this out, Twyn." Against her gut reactions still reeling from the night of the incident, Sheja sat down in the next opening on the merry-go-round next to him, placing a hand on his back. "We know whoever is doing it is able to by putting something in our drinks, meaning they're close to us. Saorsa, here...anywhere." She held her hand out to Twyn, palm facing up.

Twyn looked at it questioningly before reaching out and taking it. Heaviness on his heart eased away a bit as Sheja wrapped her fingers around his hand.

"You're my best friend, Twyndis," she reminded him. "And I'm living in a fear that anyone could end up trying to do to me what happened the other night, not just you. I think you were an easy target because of our friendship, and even more because of our past feelings that went unsaid for so long."

"Shej, I want to confess something," Twyn admitted. "The things I said? About loving you? It was all true. I honestly would have never told you some of what I did say though, I didn't want to sound like I was trying to ruin your happiness with my sister. I'm not jealous in any way that you're not mine, especially now, and you know I am loyal to Ily. But since the thoughts were there, whatever had control of me let them out and tried to use it against you."