The Raven's Source

Chapter 31 - Hollow

After everyone had some time in the courtyard, Cerno had Twyn and Ilyana take Leena into their home for the evening. Remembering Sheja never wanted to see the inside of the hospital again, he had his guards assist to move Sheja's body up to the manor, laying her down on the bed in her own room instead of the morgue. He stood at the foot of the bed, arms folded across his chest as he kept watching her, trying to force himself to believe she was just sleeping. His eyes burned and his chest was still filled with pain as she laid motionless in front of him.

"Come sit down, Cer," Rose spoke softly as she walked into the room, reaching out and taking his arm. She noticed he still hadn't changed out of his suit and only now realized the dried blood on his hands and crusted in various places on the dark fabric.

"I can't," he said. "Not yet."

"She's not going anywhere tonight," she admitted. "We'll start plans for her burial at sun up, and once the Healers have fully examined her body and release her, we can let her sleep peacefully."

Cerno trembled, his body steadily filling with anger as it had done many times this evening. "Rose, I built Saorsa to protect her because of people like our parents...and this fucking city is what killed her," he growled lowly, turning away and pacing across the room. "How do I not allow myself to beg Leena to burn it to ashes?" he asked, slamming his hand into the dresser. The bookshelf next to it rocked enough that a small dark object fell from a shelf onto the floor. He picked it up, realizing it was the small black vial he had given Sheja on their birthday. And while the contents had long since been discarded, the vial was still ice cold.

"You don't mean that, Cer," Rose said, sounding hurt. "The people of this city didn't kill your sister. They still need this city just as much as Sheja needed it when she came looking for it."

"Sorry, you're right." He set the vial down on top of the dresser.

"I know I am, and you're just angry. We all are. And it's okay to be angry right now as long as you dispose of it properly."

"This is my fault though, Rose. If I hadn't built Saorsa, Yaya wouldn't have come here and she would still be alive."

"You built a beautiful city that this world needed, Cer. And you know for a fact Sheja would fight you on what you just said, you know her take on fate. According to her belief, this would have happened whether she was here, Sundres, or the middle of a rain forest. By her belief in fate, you could have locked her in a vault four-hundred feet below your feet and she still would have died tonight."

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out and taking Sheja's cold hand in his again, her fingers having stiffened. He swallowed hard to try push the knot in his throat back down into the pit of his stomach, even though it was already escaping from his eyes again.

"I don't wish this feeling on anyone, Rosie," he said as he sobbed. "I can feel the knife he plunged into her chest, and I feel like someone is trying to rip my chest into two pieces. But I also feel hollow, I feel like my heart isn't beating."

"Because it's broken. It broke when hers did," she said softly. She walked over to him and took his arm again, pulling him to his feet. He didn't resist. "Let's go downstairs, let's let Sheja sleep."

As Rose pulled Cerno towards the family room after coming down the stairs, there was a knock on the front door. After getting Cerno sat down, she opened it to see Twyn standing alone.

"What are you doing up here? You should be with Leena," Rosalie said.

"She's cried herself to sleep and I needed a moment away from her pain," he answered, walking in and sitting down across from Cerno. He leaned over and held his head in his hands. "I called Lydia to check on her. She was quietly assessing Leena as she slept to make sure her stress wasn't harming the babies. She'll continue to monitor her for the next few days."