THE VISION THIEF - D. MALFOY

56. what the darkness does

I grip his hand tightly. "I'm so sorry," I whisper, gazing into the blaring fireplace as I sit next to him on the ground. Although he is sleeping, he looks like he is still in pain. I frown deeply. I pull away, standing as I let out a large sigh. It was late and everyone had already gone to sleep. Once I'm out of Serena's office and in the dim and empty hall, I let my head drop. A curtain of hair falls around me as I slowly walk back to the room. 

We had won, right? We left that warehouse successfully. So why do I feel like this? Like I have an endless black hole of worry eating away at the very depth of my soul. It feels like a large knot beginning to form from within me. Dread, fear, panic, beginning to devour my mind.  Maybe it's the apprehension of what is to come? Because something deep inside me is screaming that this was only just the beginning, and next time we won't be so lucky. The simple thought scares me nearly half to death. It holds a certain power over me. It is uncontrollable. The anxiety and fear are suddenly suffocating. 

I slowly open the door to Malfoy, and I's room. It's pitch black from the second I step inside. I take a deep breath, attempting to gain control over my emotions, and silently hoping he is already asleep. I quickly change into my pajamas, not even bothering to use the bathroom to change. His back fully faces me anyways, and I'm too tired and exhausted to even worry about him seeing me change. 

I pull back the covers, slipping underneath them. It's relieving, the comfort of falling into a cold and comfy bed after a long day. Seconds of silence pass. My eyes close, and I can already feel myself inching closer to sleep. 

And then he speaks. "What's wrong with you, Ashwood?" He mumbles quietly, but my eyes still fly wide open. "What?" I breathe out. A second slips by. "You've barely said a word all night," He states. Oh. "Nothing is wrong," I blurt out. It would be silly to be upset after escaping those Death Eaters. In fact, I have no reason to be upset. We all made it back safely, and that should be enough. But there's still such an uneasy feeling eating away at me. 

"You're lying," he says as he rolls over. He's facing me now, but I remain turned away, my back to him. "Am not," I say weakly. "It's so easy to tell when you're lying," He continues. "And you're weirdly over-analytical," I snap. 

"It's fun to watch people," He says. "Freak," I roll my eyes. He chuckles, "I'd be careful who you call a freak. Especially someone you're sharing a bed with," He says, and I can just hear that stupid smirk based on the sound of his voice. I let out a frustrated groan. "Goodnight Malfoy," I growl out. 

"Look at me," He says. 

"No." 

"Ashwood, you are lying to me. I don't like being lied to you."

"Well, that's unfortunate, and not my issue," I say harshly. 

"What the hell is wrong?" He demands. I sit up, having had enough. "Fine, I'm scared!" I blurt out as I turn to face him. "Ok? I'm scared. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I exclaim. "Scared of what?" He asks quietly, staring up at me with his gunmetal eyes. 

I let out a sigh as I fall back down, facing the ceiling. My hair fans out around me on the pillow. "That things won't always be this easy," I say softly. "What are you talking about?" He genuinely asks. 

"I never realized how many bad and scary people were out there. And then one day one of them showed up at my house and destroyed it. I was thrown into a world I still know barely anything about. I have this tendency to have explosive episodes with my magic, and I've had a group of death eaters on my trail for almost 4 months now," I explain. "I just have this feeling that one day, we won't manage to narrowly escape like we normally do. We are running off of pure luck, and at some point, that luck is going to run out," I let out.