Haircut (Beth Harmon X Benny Watts)

Chapter 20

It was the day of the wedding. Jolene called a couple of days ago asking if we could come at 11:00 AM, so I could help her get dressed. Of course I wanted to help her. Jolene thought that the world turned against her sometimes. But that wasn't going to happen today. She might not say it to anyone else, but I knew she loved her man. I had never met him, but Jolene spoke quite highly of him, and she never did that.

I had just put on my dress and my heels. The fitted perfectly with my black dress. And even thought it wasn't the main thought in my mind when I bought them, but I knew that Benny would love them too.

The thought of us going together was still a bit crazy. We called a few times in the last week, but I hadn't seen him since he came by to look at my dresses. I had felt guilty about the letter when he left. But my stubbornness blamed it on the alcohol.

I confidently walked down the stairs. The dress made me feel pretty, and that didn't happen often.

When I stood near the front door I saw a letter on my doormat. When I picked it up I read a name I didn't expect to see at all.

'From Collin Wilson', stood written on the envelope.

I walked to the livingroom, sat down the couch and curiously opened it. I folded it open and started to read.

Dear Beth Harmon,

I want to thank you for writing the note you left on my table in Ohio. It meant a lot to me. I don't know what happened to you since Alma passed away, but from the things that go around the chess club, I can't assume you've been that well. My mother never believed it. She said it was nonsense. But now that I saw you that night. I realised that some of it might be true. Alma meant a lot to me. More than you could imagine and to hear from her death in this kind of way was excruciating. I was furious at first, but when I read your letter I realised it was a awful thing for you too. So ai decided to push my anger and grief aside and say that I'm sorry too. Sorry for reacting the way I did.

I told mom and dad. Mom was heartbroken at first, and she's still mourning, but she's also bringing up great memories. She fully understood why you were scared to talk to her about it. She wanted me to wish you good luck and she hopes you'll find a happy life. And so do I.

Yours sincerely,

Collin Wilson

Tears prickled in my eyes and a wave of relief flowed through my body. The fact that he wasn't mad at me made me less guilty and alone. I held the letter to my chest and promised myself I would write him back.

Nobody ever showed grief when Alma had died. I felt so alone in those times. But now I knew, I wasn't the only one that cared.

I layed the letter down on the piano and sat down behind. I felt the keys underneath my fingertips. The felt dusty and old, but also nostalgic. I slowly pressed one key and a fine tone came out of it.

"This one's for you Mom." I whispered.

My fingers started to jump from one key to another. I played the only song I knew. It had taken her three full days to teach me, but now I could dream it. The song sounded sad but it made me feel happy, hopeful. As if she was here. Sitting next to me, a gibson in her hand, smiling upon me after I played it fully for the first time.

Alma made me feel loved and I made her feel like a mom.

After I played the last chords, I sat still for a few more seconds. I was looking at the black and white keys in front of me. It had been Alma's safe place, but instead there were 88 squares instead of 64, like in my world. I smiled.

The peaceful ambience got interrupted when I heared the doorbell ring. Still in a dreamy mood I walked up to the door.

When I opened it I saw Benny leaning against of of the poles of the porch. He had a clean black suit on. When he told me he was going to put on a suit, I imagined that he would look like all the other men I met during chess tournaments. Those men always looked like they lived in those things.  Like they were glued to their bodies. Greasy , too tight around the stomache and it always made it look like they were 20 years older than they really were. But with Benny it was definitely the opposite.

He had done his hair, put on a tie that sat loosely around his neck and in his hand he held his black blazer. I had never seen him in clean pants. Let alone is these fancy ones.

He looked so hot, it made my skin tingle.

When I finally looked at his eyes, he was staring at me a bit dreamily. But when he noticed that I was looking at him he quickly recovered. But there was still a mischievous smile in his face.

"You look stunning Mrs. Harmon." He said.

"So do you Mr. Watts." I smiled back.

"Ready to act like a totally normal person for today?" He grinned.

"I told you I' would give it a try."

"And I told you it is going to be okay."

We looked at each other for a while. I knew I was feeling butterflies in my stomache and it was making me extremely nervous. But in my head, I told myself it was probably because of the wedding.

But everyone knows that convincing yourself is harder than convincing someone else.

"We got this." He said as he offered me his hand. "As long as we avoid Beltik at all cost."

I laughed as I accepted his hand. He squeezed it softly and I squeezed back. He led me to the car and let go off my hand to open the door.

I sat down in the seat thst I knew so well. Even the smell in the car was the same. The whole thing made me smile like a fool.

I could act like a normal person for a day. I wouldn't do it for me, I would do it for Jolene, Harry and most of all for the pirate that was humming a song next to me. Because I wasn't going to hurt him ever again.