Betso carefully removed a fast asleep Muzi from her chest so she could get out of bed to go pee. After she was done, she left the room to go check on Lwandile. He wasn't in his room. He checked in the room that used to belong to Mxo and he wasn't there either. She looked around for a bit, trying to maybe feel the presence of the deceased twin but it felt so empty, so lonely. She closed the door before her emotions could take over. She went down to the living room and heard cartoons playing. Lwa was there, watching with disinterest smeared on his face. She heaved a sigh before walking further to go sit with him on the couch.
"What are you watching?", she asked with a smile. He turned his face briefly to look at her.
"Naruto", he replied.
"Is it nice? Can I watch with?"
"Sure", he agreed flatly. Her eyes kept bouncing around the room, not knowing where to start.
"Kanyo..."
"I'm fine ma. I'll be fine", he knew what wagon she was about to climb on.
"Are you really--"
"I met someone", he changed the subject and faked a smile. She could see right through him. She deflated her chest defeatedly but chose to entertain him, maybe a happy topic was exactly what he needed, she thought to herself silently.
"Okay. Who?"
"His name is Bokang"
"Hm, rhyming names. I can just see them on the wedding invitation", she said jokingly and he laughed.
"Wedding? Let's not", he said and continued to laugh.
"Should I bring ice cream for this?", she asked, already on her feet. He felt the zero judgment in her voice and that filled his heart with some necessary warmth. He wasn't feeling like ice cream at that hour but he nodded lovingly.
"Cool", she said and clapped her hands in celebration. She brought a tub and lifted the throw off him so she could get in too. Lwa took his spoon and she opened it.
"So, tell me about this new flame", she said with anticipation and Lwa huffed out a laugh before taking in half a spoonful into his mouth.
"I met him at some cafe in town. He ticks all the right boxes so far", he mentioned after he swallowed.
"How old is he?"
"He's 19", he lied. He wasn't planning to but something in his head told him to lie. That deceitful voice wasn't convinced that she was going to be happy with his real age.
"Not too bad. I'm guessing he's done with school?"
"Yeah. He's studying I.T", he sprinkled some tiny bit of truth, laced with lies.
"Can I meet him?", she said with her one eye closed. She knew she was reaching. He laughed and almost choked on the ice cream.
"No WTF mom? It's too soon. Way too soon", he said. She laughed too.
"Arg, a mom has got to try", she was still laughing lightly as they ate from the same tub. Momentary silence inserted a break into their conversation.
"Mom?"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry. That day with the bucket hat and how I spoke to--"
"Don't be. I'm the one who handled that whole situation wrongly. I should've done better", she comforted and brushed his hair.
"Still. Going through shxt doesn't mean I should be an a**hole"
He placed the spoon in his mouth and kept it in there.
"Let's put it behind us. Now I want to know and be as truthful as you can about this. How are you coping?", she now wore a serious look on her face. He sighed and sat back.
"I don't know. I don't think I am. My life has taken a sharp curve and as much as I'm trying, I don't know how to deal with it. I saw him for atleast 85% of every single day and now I can't be with him even for a minute. It's weird. It hurts. I've never felt so much pain in my life mama and I'm certain that it'll never go away. If it miraculously does, then I'm afraid I won't be able to feel anything ever again. The damage is just too much", he laid himself bare in front of her; stripping his emotions naked. Her eyes were glassy from the suspended tears.
"Do I ever freak you out?", he quickly asked inquisitively. She let out a breathy laughter. She knew what he meant.
"Yeah you do. I mean I could clearly tell you apart but if you appear out of nowhere then yeah. My brain freezes for a second"
He laughed in a brief pained manner.
"How are YOU coping?", it was his turn to ask. She pursed her lips and faced the ceiling.
"I miss him. So so much", she stated lowly, painfully. He placed the ice cream tub on the table and sat a little closer so he could hug his mourning mother. She was still trying to push the tears back, pressing her index finger tips onto the inner corners of eyes.
...
