In the Absence of Light

31

Ivy

I pull the shirt over my head and stuff the bottom into my skirt. I eye myself in the mirror, but something doesn't sit right. The skirt is too tight. It's digging into my waist, and that's the last thing I need at a time like this. It's too uncomfortable.

"Nope," I shake my head. "This isn't it."

"Aw, come on, Ives! You look great!" Erin encourages. I shake my head. It's not going to cut it.

"Maybe I should just cancel."

"No!" she scolds. "We've been over this!"

We have—twice already.

I've been doubting myself since last night. That's when it finally hit.

I'm going on a date. An actual date. Not just a party or a hook-up, but a real one-on-one, romantic date. Well, I don't know if it'll actually be romantic, but that's what dates are all about—finding out of there could be something romantic between you.

God, I can't even think about that. I need to focus on one thing at a time, and right now, I need to get dressed.

I've gone through my entire wardrobe already, digging up things I haven't worn in years. I have no idea what we're doing today. It's bad weather so I should wear layers, but I don't know if we'll be inside or outside, or if we'll be sitting still or actively moving around. I really hope not. I just want to sit and talk.

"Why don't you wear jeans?" Erin asks. "They're good for all occasions. You can dress them up and down."

"I don't really have any," I scan the piles in my closet. Denim has never really matched my style. It's just a little too tough for me.

"You can borrow some of mine?"

"I don't know," I hesitate. "I don't think they'd suit me, and I don't know what to wear with them."

"Your Burberry jacket-poncho-thing."

"You mean the cape?" I pull it out of my wardrobe. I do like this. It's not too warm, but still cosy. "I don't think I should wear something like this."

"What do you mean?"

"It's so... branded."

"Ah," she nods. "You're trying not to flaunt your money."

"I just don't want to make it obvious," I say. "It's not like he's going to show up decked out in Dior."

"Yeah, that makes sense. You don't need to emphasise what you already know."

"Exactly."

I pull the shirt back over my head, abandoning it on my bed. My skirt follows, but I keep my tights on. It's too cold for bare legs. These tights are only sheer, but it's impossible to find thicker ones in beige shades.

"What about this?" Erin motions towards a white dress. It has a high neckline, scalloped bottom, and three-quarter sleeves. I bought this dress in my freshman year, during a shopping trip to Japan with my sisters. I haven't worn it much. It was always a little too big, and I've been too lazy to get it altered. But I've gained a few pounds since then.

"This could work," I take the dress off its hanger. I'll need to liven it up with a belt or a necklace, but that's easy. I step into it, wriggling it over my butt and worming my arms into the sleeves. Erin zips up the back. It fits well. The fabric is light, so it won't be too warm. I'll just bring a jacket in case we're outside.