Your Addictive Heart || l.s

Where Broken Hearts Go

He hated that he couldn't see the stars tonight. It was too cloudy. He sat on the damp grass and stared at the empty bleachers.

Once upon a time, he had it all. And if he tried hard enough he could remember what that felt like. It was so easy to fall into it.

He could see why Jordan wanted it just as badly. And maybe Jordan didn't deserve it, but Louis couldn't help but think about all the decisions he made that led him to where he was now and feel like he didn't deserve those things either. No matter how brief he had them for.

He played with Harry's heart for too long, too scared to call it his own and care for it so. He took his friends for granted and most of the time refused to go down with his ship like a good caption. And he was a pathetic excuse for a brother. And the worst part about it was they all knew it and every chance Louis had, he proved them right.

This was supposed to be the year he conquered the world. How the mighty fall. He lost everything.

He didn't know how long he was out there. He was sure his nose hairs were frozen together.

He was shivering. He knew he needed to find the strength to go home alone tonight. Before he permanently froze to the field.

Suddenly, he felt the warmth of a jacket over him. He looked over to see Harry sitting down crossed legged next to him.

Was this a hypothermia induced hallucination?

He smiled kindly at him. Louis wasn't sure what to make of it. He wondered why he'd come looking for him at all. How many times can you pet a lion before you lose your hand for good? How had he not learned his lesson? Why was being kind to him at all?

"Did you like the show?" He asked softly.

Louis couldn't look at him but he nodded. "It was great."

"Yeah. Better than I could have imagined." He agreed.

Louis nodded again. Unsure of how to act around him. It was like he was scared one wrong move would twist the knife.

He didn't say anything after that. He felt Harry's gaze weighing heavy on him. He was just staring at him. Louis didn't get it. Was he just there to make him feel worse? He couldn't feel any worse. It wasn't possible.

"I know," Harry said with a break in his voice. He sharply inhaled. "Everything."

He handed him an opened letter with Harry's name written on it. "Diana's gone. She left." He broke the news.

It hit him like a high impact collision. He buried his face in his hands as a tsunami flooded them. Harry wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in towards him. "It's all my fault." Louis never wanted this. She ran away because Louis made it unsafe. Louis started all of this when he kicked him off the team. He was so selfish. He hurt so many people. He didn't deserve any form of compassion.

He pulled away from Harry's grip but he wouldn't let go. "This had nothing to do with you, okay?" He used a soothing and reassuring voice as he talked in his ear.

Louis didn't want to be let off the hook. He wanted him to see him for who he really was. He was a monster. He was a black hole.

"You did everything right. We had no idea. None of us. It wasn't fair that this was put on you. Nobody blames you for what happened." He explained in a rushed panic.

"Is she- what did she say?" Louis needed to know she'd be okay.

"She said she was grateful for you. That she got to perform tonight and that you got in a few good punches with Jordan." He chuckled to ease the tension but Louis still felt sick to his stomach. "She and her mom had been planning to leave for a while. They couldn't tell anyone, that's why she wrote the letter."