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***this was a double update! make sure you have read chapter 36 before this one!***

***this was a double update! make sure you have read chapter 36 before this one!***

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Louis' POV: 

I was exhausted. I could tell I was about to crash at any minute. I hadn't slept in two days and it was really catching up to me.

There was only one way I could stay awake. The first night I didn't take anything, but the next night, I needed help to not fall asleep.

I was just doing it to stay awake until I sorted shit out in my head. Then I'd stop and no one would have to know. Harry would make a big deal out of nothing.

With shaking hands, I put the two pills on my nightstand, grabbing a spoon and using the bottom to crush them, grabbing a tightly rolled dollar bill.

I got adderall from a guy at school. I gave him all the money I had, which wasn't much. But it was enough for a few days worth. That was all I needed.

I held the roll up to my nostril, plugging the other nostril with my free hand and lowering myself to inhale the powder in with a loud sniff.

It's a lot quicker this way, it only takes up to five minutes to hit my system where as taking it normally as a pill would take twenty.

I brought my pointer finger to wipe the bottom of my nose and upper lip, leaning back on my bed with another heavy inhale through my nose.

Moments later, my eyes snapped open. It was hitting me.

It wasn't designed to be taken this way and went directly into your bloodstream; that's why it hit so hard.

I smiled in pure relief when my heart rate started to increase to the worrying pace I knew meant it was working.

This part wasn't great, but I needed to stay awake. I needed to keep him away from me and he always could get to me when I was asleep.

It definitely didn't help me feel calm, but anything was better than sleeping. It helped me feel focused. He couldn't get to me if I was awake and focused.

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