She Will Be Loved- Ben Tyler Cook

Chapter 38

Kasey's POV

March 27, 2019

I don't spend a lot of my free time dancing, because, well- pretty much all of my time is taken up by dancing. But today, I found myself in my old studio dancing by myself just like I used to. It was somehow much more relaxing when you were all alone. I was doing my favorite choreography of all time, Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker.

After recording a short video of myself, I felt my pointe shoe start to come off so I stopped and decided to be done for the day. I didn't want to injure myself by overdoing it. As I sat down on the floor and drank some water, I let the music keep playing. I won't get to do a Nutcracker season this year, I thought to myself. I didn't care that much, but realizing last December was basically my last Nutcracker season made me sad. I haven't officially decided to end my contract yet, but I was pretty certain I wanted to. I'd contemplated staying if everything at the company got resolved, but after finding out I was cast in the West Side Story movie it felt like everything changed. I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to be in a Spielberg movie which was something I'd auditioned for just for fun. I was happy to move on to something like this but I was still going to miss being a principal dancer here. Even though Ben and I promised not to factor each other into our careers, him being cast too made it all so exciting.

I was mostly leaving because of everything that happened with Zane, but I also realized it was all becoming too exhausting. It really was everything I'd imagined it to be. I didn't even mind the tired feet, weekly PT sessions, and the lost sleep. But there were parts that weren't everything I'd imagined it to be. I didn't expect to be harassed by a company member. I didn't expect the director to care so little about me. I didn't expect such a toxic environment. There were some great people here- but even if Zane does get fired, I think working at the place where everything fell apart for me would not be good. I didn't want to have the constant reminders. So even though I'd had so many accomplishments here and made good memories for the most part, I was letting it go. It had been my childhood dream, and I'd fulfilled it. That was good enough for me.

Waltz of the Flowers ended, and the Russian Dance came on shuffle next. I started to untie my pointe shoes and take them off. I slowly peeled off my toe pads to reveal a new blister and and an old wound opening up again and starting to bleed. I winced at the sight and grabbed bandaids from my dance bag. I shut off my music and looked out the window. It was raining outside, which made the empty studio feel more peaceful. I grabbed all my stuff and looked at myself in the mirror before leaving. I smiled at my reflection.

"You're going to be alright," I mumbled to myself, and then shut off the lights and left. I really was going to be alright, and I needed to constantly remind myself. Soon, this whole mess would be over and I could move on. As I started walking down the streets, my inner monologue was urging me to confirm my casting. Call your agent. Tell her you're going to do it. Make it official. I gave into my thoughts, and pulled out my phone.

"Hey Linda? I'm all in. Send me the contract," I said once she answered the phone. A small smile formed on my face as I listened to her next words. It's happening, I thought to myself.

-

I woke up the next morning to the sound of honking outside my apartment building instead of my usual alarm. I groaned, and kept my eyes shut until the honking stopped a couple of minutes later. I finally opened my eyes, and then sat up in a panic as I realized daylight was already present. What time is it?? Did I oversleep? Oh wait. I have the morning off, classes are later. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I could relax today. It was also Ben and I's anniversary today, but it's not like we could spend it together. Part of me wished he would pop out of nowhere and surprise me with something for the day. He's done that more than once- but I knew there was no way for him to do it right now. However, I was comforted by the fact that long distance would soon be over, and I would never have to worry about spending an anniversary alone again. My phone started buzzing, and I saw that Ben was calling. It was if he'd known I was thinking about him.