She Will Be Loved- Ben Tyler Cook

Chapter 14

hey guys:) this chapter mentions suicide and depression, so this is your trigger warning !!

Kasey's POV

August 25, 2015

I knew Ben was back, but I didn't really want to think about it. I tried my best to remain unbothered, even though I wanted so badly to just tell him everything. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I did love him. It took me a while to realize it. It was a little scary to feel that way about someone, at least for me. It felt like we were moving so fast, I didn't have any time to think. But after everything Ben had done for me in such a short time, I understood why we were moving so fast. I felt so bad for freaking out on Ben and ruining everything. I wished there was a way to turn back time.

Today, I went to the theater early. Why not? It was sometimes fun to be alone. I figured I'd sing some of my favorite songs and dance a little to get me pumped for a show. I could just lie on the stage doing nothing but thinking. I could do anything. I was in a good mood for the first time in a while as I walked in, Starbucks in one hand, and my backpack was on my back. My phone buzzed from my pocket, and I pulled it out to see a call from my mom. Smiling, I picked it up.

"Hey Mom!" I greeted her cheerfully.

"Hi Kasey. How's it going?" I could tell she had something she wanted to say by the tone of her voice, but instead of asking I answered her question.

"Not bad. I came to the theater early."

"Can you sit down? I want to talk to you about something kind of serious." I sat down on the stair step, expecting maybe a relative had died, or there was something with my father. I knew I could handle that okay, but I was still nervous for whatever she was about to tell me.

"Okay, I'm sitting. What's up?" I asked cautiously. She was silent for a moment.

"Oh, god. I don't even- I don't even know how to tell you this, Kasey." I hadn't heard my mom this distressed in a while. What could possibly be wrong? 

"Mom... What's wrong?" I started fidgeting with my necklace. I heard my mom take a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry. I just-" she seemed to be holding back tears.

"Take your time," I assured, but I got more anxious as every second passed.

"It's about Amber." I felt a pit grow in my stomach. What about Amber? Is she okay?

"W-what happened?" I was trying to sound calm, but my words came out in a mumble.

"Amber... attempted suicide last night," my mom sighed shakily. It felt like the world stopped for a minute, and the words echoed in my head over and over again. My heart immediately started racing. My eyes immediately welled up and I forced myself to hold the tears back. This doesn't feel real. No. This isn't real. This can't be real. 

"Is she... okay?" My voice was trembling. In my head, all I was thinking was, Don't say it. Don't you dare say it. I was so overwhelmed with shock, and confused. It was so unexpected.

"No, Kasey. She didn't make it." The words spilled out of my mother's mouth. Suddenly, it felt like someone had taken the earth and was shaking it upside down. My head was spinning faster than any globe, and my heart nearly stopped for a second. Someone might as well have shot me in the chest.

"What...?" I was holding back a sob.

"I'm so sorry."

Emotions scattered about in my brain. I couldn't speak for 10 seconds. Tears welled up in my eyes, and anger brewed about in my chest as I tried to process this. My best friend is gone. She's dead.