Any Less || (TodoBaku)

#34 Fake Love

(Warning: Harsh Language)

Third person point of view:

He thought he was the one, Bakugou was the one, the one he would want to hold on to till he grew old, like he could hold his hands, and stare at him, forever. He had never planned on something, he had never planned on forever, never did he imagine he would actually want to marry someone and grow old with someone, never did he let himself be weak in front of anyone else, all these might not be as important to others as it was to him and it didn't matter, no one actually cares. 'Seasons they will change...' yes, everything changes, 'Life will make you grow...' but he was still letting himself be played, 'Dreams will make you cry...cry...cry...' oh d r e a m s, 'Everything is temporary, everything will slide...' All the promises made are made to be broken, to be burnt and blown away just like the nitroglycerin on his palms which burns up and turns anything to ashes.Just like his left side would burn up and burn down the line connecting them. All this, wasn't meant to be, it was just something distracting him and playing with his head. He shouldn't have let himself weak all over again when he got his heart broken once.

'Love will never die...die...die' Love,

What a fucking stupid word.

It's all fake love, and he was so fucking sick of this fake love.

The speakers beside his bed were vibrating out as each sound wave tingled his ears, as the lyrics swiped up his spine, as if they were solely made for that exact moment, and it wasn't even like his heart was aching, or breaking, it just felt empty, like it was beating just cause it is supposed to, because he doesn't want it to not, because he wanted it to go empty, as it was before, it burnt and burnt and then turned cold like ice, for what he never wanted it to melt, but damn that warm touch, those dense promises, 'I'll catch you' well, you just dropped me, and shattered me, didn't just let me fall, but made sure I fell and broke into pieces like I can never come back up.

It wasn't a huge deal, but it was, it wasn't supposed to effect him, but it very fucking much was. And he has never felt this angry, like there were chemicals reacting throughout his system, and it drove him crazy, he was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the wall, one leg spread and other close to his knee, his elbow on the leg, his fingers through his hair, supporting his head, his white hair, wet, blocking the little view his eyes could see through the tears, his face was red, scratched, as he moved his head vigorously on the tiles of the bathroom wall, and buried his face in his palms, punching on the wall, there was no peace or place to settle at, he could break something, he could burn something down, but his emotions weren't settling down, words were thudding his skull, he could break open anytime and lose it. 

Tears had dried up, but the anger hadn't settled down, his eyes were barely open, and red, but face was expressionless, and scratches on his face and hands with the punching and nails. 

What happened...?

Good question, nothing much, depends on how you describe 'nothing much', if it includes discovering the love of your fucking life making you realize that there was no love, only thing that was there was using each other, for sex, and what? Leaving him? No, that would be too good for him at the moment, they had proceeded way further than being fuck buddies, and that very moment he decided that falling in love again was okay, it was proved that it wasn't. Bakugou chose some random person over him.

Funny? Oh very.

It hadn't sank in yet, the scene was still floating it front of his eyes, but it was clearly him, he could never not recognize that fine blonde fair and those red eyes, just he never wanted to see it that way and neither did he know it would hurt this fucking bad. Or maybe, not hurt at all. Was that even possible at the same possible? Yeah.

He had one song on loop and he walked around the corridor, with black hoodie with the hood pulled over his face, and shorts. No one had dared to come near or ask what was going, and no one had uttered one word before he walked out of the building, head heavy, not having control or feelings, it would go away, but not yet, not until he would let it.

'Love you so bad...
                         ...love you so bad.
     I make a pretty lie for you
Love you so mad...
                         ...love you so mad.'

Bakugou on the other had searched in all the possible places he could think of and even the places which he couldn't. He had roamed around pulling Midoriya, Kirishima, Kaminari, Iida by their collars, he had been with All Might and had no idea what had happened to let the person he was...he was about to confess too, be honest about his feelings for maybe the first time in his life, brutally honest, and expose his soul naked, just disappear, for three days straight. 

He didn't even realize he had fallen for this guy so bad until that moment when he was concerned, scared, mad, and upset at the same time and the absence of this one person almost killed him.

It was unbearable at that point when he came back, looked him dead into the eyes, all he could read was sadness, and not a single thing else, not anger, not hatred, maybe not even sadness, but they looked dead, those feroza eyes looked like they had turned to stone and half closed, like not even having the energy to look up, he looked messed, he was messed, they were messed and without each other, and without any known reason. He followed him, only to be hit by the door being banged close on his face as his hit his face and he fell touching the opposite wall, nose bleeding. And there has been no proper contact, or anything after that.

'Why you sad? I don't know, I don't know
Smile, tell me I love you
Look at me, I even abandoned myself 
I can't even understand you
You say it's strange, I turned into the one you liked...'

(YES I UPDATED TWICE AND I AM SORRY IF I OVER DID THE CHAPTER BUT I INCLUDED SOME ANGST TO ADD UP AND SATISFY THE PLOT AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN LEAVING KIND COMMENTS, ITS REALLY MOTIVATING ME TO CONTINUE THIS AND UPDATE FASTER, I LOVE Y'ALL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT, DO LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND HOW CAN IMPROVE, WILL UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, TAKE CARE AND SEE YOU SOON <3 -sydREnzo)