Chapter 22

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Suddenly, Emily remembered all of the films she'd refused to watch with JJ for the very reason that they contained lesbian themes, wishing she could go back in time and change her lame excuses about how this movie sounded boring or how she'd already seen that movie, for the sole reason that she knew she couldn't sit next to JJ and watch two women on screen without becoming unbearably aroused to the point where she might just be rendered incapable of keeping her secret hidden any longer.

"In my fantasies, you always said no, because ... Well, because I'd seen you flirt with so many guys and I just assumed you were straight. But when I asked if you'd ever wanted to do anything like that, you said yes. So I leaned over and I kissed you." JJ blushed, squirming slightly as she clenched her legs tightly together. "And, um ... We just kissed for a while and you got on top of me and kind of started grinding your knee into me and then you started to touch me and ... and then I saw how turned on you were so I reached down to touch you, too, and ... and that's when I usually came. When I was by myself, I mean."

Emily's profiling instinct kicked in immediately. "You wanted to be my first," she realized.

"I ... I guess so. I mean, you always remember your first, right?" JJ mumbled, turning her head away in embarrassment.

"But J ... But Alexandra," Emily quickly corrected herself, "even if you always remember your first, it's your last that you cherish the most."

"How do you know?" JJ challenged her. "How do you know, if every person you've been with since your first was supposed to be your last? If they've just become this ... this blended collage of women you've loved over the years?"

"I know it," Emily said in a steady voice, "because I know you're going to be my last."

JJ opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Sparing her the effort of trying to articulate her true feelings when they had already committed themselves to fully becoming Alexandra Brewster and Vivian Cook, Emily kissed her. Sweetly. Tenderly.

Only moments later, JJ was kissing her back with intensity, sucking on her tongue and lower lip, leaving Emily whimpering in response. "Let's pretend," JJ murmured into her ear. "Let's pretend it's our first time ever. With anyone."

Emily nodded and then returned to JJ's mouth, their tongues meeting briefly. Emily ran her hands through JJ's long blonde hair, stroking the sides of her face. "Your breasts," she said, trying to sound shy. "Can I touch them?"

JJ nodded and Emily sat back on her knees, hesitantly drawing circles around JJ's breasts with her fingers before cupping them in her hands and running her thumbs over the pink, pointed nipples stiffening under her touch. "Ohhhh!" JJ cried out. "Press yours against mine and kiss me."

So Emily did, moving up and down against JJ's body and kissing her mouth. She slid her knee in between JJ's legs and froze, pretending it was accidental. "Can I ... I mean, should I ..."

"Yes," JJ responded instantly, spreading her legs slightly and raising her torso to match the gyrations of Emily's knee, hesitantly shifting her own upward and grinding it between Emily's legs. They continued kissing, their bodies moving together, for what seemed like a blissful eternity. "Do you want to ..." JJ paused, biting her lip. "Do you want to touch me? Like you touch yourself when you're alone?"

"Will you touch me, too?" Emily asked tentatively, trying to sound like the first-timer of JJ's fantasies. "So we know ... so we know how to do it to each other?"

JJ inhaled sharply, spreading her legs. Within seconds, her finger was on Emily's clit, drawing slow circles around the hood. When Emily reached down to do the same, she matched JJ's strokes perfectly, but with increased speed and pressure. JJ followed in turn, and less than a minute passed before their open mouths were gasping against one another, all focus and concentration on the all-encompassing feeling between their legs, the tempo increasing and rising and rising until they were both coming and moaning and trembling as their bodies soared into orgasm upon orgasm, until their wrists were aching from the effort, until the sensation was too much and JJ pulled her hand away, grasping Emily's in her own.

Instead of rolling over to the other side of the bed, Emily remained on top of JJ, planting small, sweet kisses on her neck and her cheeks until JJ reached out to hold her face and kissed her mouth hungrily, with renewed intensity, before her head fell back on the pillow below. Her blue eyes were searching Emily's ... for what?

"Even though you're my last," Emily whispered, "there are so many ways in which you've also been my first."

JJ's mouth widened into a smile, apparently satisfied with her disclosure. "I love you," she said, almost to herself, before raising her eyes to meet Emily's and firmly declaring, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Emily answered, stroking JJ's upper arm with the palm of her hand. "And as much as I wish I could ravish your beautiful body all night long, we'd really better get some sleep now. We've got a long day ahead of us checking out the town and meeting the locals."

JJ nodded complicity. "Just ... promise me something?" she asked in a small voice.

"Anything."

"Tonight ... Can you just promise to hold me and not let go?" Emily smiled and leaned over to turn off the light, snuggling into JJ and easing her onto her side so she could place her arms around her.

"I can't just promise that I'll do it tonight," Emily softly remarked into her back, prompting JJ to glance over her shoulder in alarm. Emily kissed her shoulder before uttering the words she planned to live by, words that might require more than she ever bargained for, words that she was willing to fight for, no matter what obstacles she had to overcome, to make them a reality.

"I promise that I'll hold you every single night for the rest of our lives, if you'll let me."

And just as she was about to fall asleep, Emily heard JJ quietly mouthing the words that made her heart soar with happiness:

"I'll let you."

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