Teaching jj

Chapter 3

JJ's breathing increased dramatically and her grasp against Emily's wrist tightened as she thrust herself rapidly against the open palm with utter abandon. She could come like this, Emily suddenly realized, flicking her eyes toward the bathroom door, which could fly open at any moment, leaving them both in a humiliating predicament. But I don't want her to come like this.

She withdrew her hand, despite JJ's protests, and (more to herself than anyone else) uttered a stark reminder: "You're drunk and you're confused - and most of all? You're married with a child. You can't do this. We can't do this."

"I can't go home with my panties soaked!" JJ cried out, her eyes widening in fear. "Do you know what he'll do to me? Do you have any idea?"

"Then we'll get a hotel room for the night. No different than all the other nights we've shared hotel rooms across the state working various cases," Emily reassured her, petting her arm. "He'll trust you with me. And we won't give him any reason not to."

Her voice might have sounded confident and strong, but her willpower was weak. Still, she knew from experience that it would be better for everyone involved if they just went upstairs, fell to sleep, and wrote off this entire incident in the bathroom. Laughingly joked about it later as yet another example of JJ's uncharacteristic drunken behavior.

When they emerged from the bathroom, Garcia handed them each a key card. "I took care of it," she said guiltily, still obviously tormenting herself for telling JJ about Emily's sexual orientation. "I called Will and told him you'd both fallen asleep upstairs already and that it would be a hassle for him to drive out here with Henry, anyway. Kevin's going to pick me up out front and I hope ... I hope you two can talk this out tonight so it doesn't ruin your friendship. 'Cause you're my favorite girls, you know?"

"I know," Emily replied gratefully, kissing her briefly on the cheek. "And I hope so, too."

JJ had already grabbed the key card and headed for the elevator, leaving Emily to endure the long, anxious ride upstairs alone. Fear and desire hammered simultaneously through her heart, half-wishing that JJ would be passed out on the bed when she arrived upstairs, and half-wishing ...

No. She wouldn't allow those fantasies to come alive again. Not after all the hard work she'd put into suppressing them.

And yet when she slipped her key into the slot and saw the green light flash, she couldn't help herself from remembering her first love, Stephanie: the one who'd taught her how to drive in the States, who'd murmured to her, initially in the car and then later, much later, wearing those emerald and gold pajamas, "green means go."

Stephanie, who nearly always wore red toward the end, like the perfect embodiment of a walking stoplight, with the passenger seat occupied by a picturesque boyfriend hanging from her arm. Stephanie, who first introduced her to the concept of love and then to the concept of loss.

Trembling imperceptibly, Emily opened the door and called out in a hushed voice, "JJ? You there?"

JJ was waiting in the bedroom, her tanned arm propped up on one plush white pillow with her blue sweater rolled up at the sleeves and her black skirt pushed up (unintentionally?), barely covering her muscular thighs.

The first words out of her mouth were, "What's it like with a woman, Emily?"