Teaching jj

Chapter 37

The sight Emily saw when she emerged into the backyard from the kitchen was so simultaneously adorable and humorous that she found herself unable to suppress the laughter bubbling out of her mouth.

JJ paused for a moment and looked up as she stopped struggling to put together the makeshift tent she'd discovered in the back of the SUV, watching Emily walk toward her. Hands on hips, she asked sarcastically, "Oh, so you think you could do a better job of putting this together?"

"What happened to just using the blanket?" Emily replied, kissing the beads of sweat on JJ's forehead.

"I know we don't have to worry about audio surveillance back here, but even the house and the trees can't guarantee complete privacy. I mean, forget the video footage itself. Look at who else could see us ..." With her hand, she gestured toward Spencer's window, which had an ideal view of the entire backyard.

"Listen, JJ, I'm not about to exhaust myself with some trainee survival ritual before we even get started," Emily smirked. "And if Spencer wants to watch ... Well, then let him watch." To JJ's amazement, she tossed the tent aside and began to spread out the blanket.

"So ... you're an exhibitionist," JJ remarked, using her very best 'profiler voice' while raising her eyebrows and pursing her lips.

"I'm a lot of things, JJ," Emily answered, moving her lips to brush them slowly along JJ's neck. "But I do feel safer knowing that Spencer's there, keeping an eye on the house, while we're ... busy with other things."

Just then, their cell phones vibrated. Hotch. Both typed in their nonsense messages and Emily realized, "it's 10:45 pm. We haven't eaten anything since lunch. Maybe we should ..."

"There's only one thing I'm in the mood to eat right now, Emily," JJ interrupted in a hushed tone. "Can you guess what it is?"

Those words alone were enough to subdue the growling hunger in Emily's stomach as she kissed JJ passionately, easing her down onto the blanket. Their kisses were almost desperate with intensity, and when Emily opened her mouth against JJ's, their warm tongues seemed completely synchronized, their kisses deepening, and it became impossible to identify the origin of the stifled moans and whimpers emanating from each of their throats.

When Emily pulled off JJ's shirt and bra, she noticed it for the first time: the bite-marked scar around her left nipple, shocked that she hadn't seen it until now. "JJ!" she whispered, horrified, "what happened?"

"Normally I put make-up on it to cover it up," JJ responded defensively, crossing her arms over her breasts. "It's nothing."

"No, it's not 'nothing'," Emily insisted sharply, gently reaching out to uncross JJ's arms for a closer view. "Is that ... is that why you don't like it when I put my mouth there?"

JJ nodded, her blue eyes filling with tears. "One time, before we were married, Will bit me. Hard. As punishment for a quasi-flirtatious phone call he'd overheard with Morgan earlier that evening. He had this look in his eyes, this look that absolutely terrified me. He wouldn't even let me clean up the blood and use antiseptic until he'd finished ... until he'd finished fucking me. By the time I'd given birth, the wound had healed, but I still ... I still couldn't even breast-feed my own son. I had to pump breast milk into containers because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone's mouth on me there again. Will said I was a bad mother and that he was disappointed because I still hadn't accepted what I'd 'deserved' that night."

"I can't believe you never told me this," Emily muttered to herself, conscientiously preventing the rising sense of rage, of fury, of violent revenge fantasies, from showing on her face. "But ... that first night we were together ... you did let me lick you there. Briefly, but you did."

"It used to be different for me," JJ admitted, not meeting Emily's gaze. "I used to like it when guys did it. More than I liked having sex with them. So I thought that maybe ..."

"You thought that maybe it would be different with me," Emily finished, unable to tear her sympathetic brown eyes away from that scar. "You know, maybe it still could be. Do you want to try?"

JJ paused for a minute, closed her eyes briefly, and nodded her head. "But Em, if I tell you to stop -"

"I will never, ever, ever do anything you don't want me to do. And I will never make you do anything you don't want to do," Emily reassured her. "I've told you that before but I'm telling you again. You know, JJ, we don't even have to do this if you're not sure you're ready."

"I'm -" JJ gulped in a huge breath of air. "I'm not sure, but I still want to try."

"OK," Emily said. "Why don't you lay back down on the blanket?"

Noticing the fear that flickered across JJ's face, she realized that JJ assumed Emily would start licking and sucking her breasts immediately. So Emily effortlessly removed her own shirt and bra and, grasping JJ's hand in her own, continued kissing her where they'd left off. The kisses had a comforting, almost sedative effect, as JJ melted against Emily's body, so close that each could feel the others' heart beating.