Miss Americana // The Beatles

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

April 13, 1965

George had been home for a few weeks. We hadn't really spoken all that much. He slept in one of the guest bedrooms. Our argument had been a lot, and even though I knew it was influenced by the wine he had drank, he still hadn't spoken to me much. This had forced me to meet up with John more and more. Now multiple times a week instead of our usual once a week if that. George had been out of the house a lot anyway to work on the film. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room waiting for Paul to pick me up and show me the house he had bought in London. I was smoking a cigarette to ease my nerves. I had noticed that I was very anxious these days.

It was three pm. George had gotten home a little bit ago from filming and doing a radio appearance. They had to be at the studio at seven tonight to do some recording. He was in the shower now. I put out my cigarette in the ashtray. George walked into the room slowly and sat down on the sofa. He brought me into his arms. I breathed in his scent. I had to admit that I missed him holding me.

"I'm sorry, darling," he spoke softly, "I hope you can forgive the awful things I said. I realize that I acted just like the behavior I was going on about."

I didn't say anything, I just held him tighter. A car horn beeped outside.

"Are you going somewhere?" George asked me quietly.

I sighed, "Paul's bought a house in London. He wanted to show it to me before he has to be at the studio."

George nodded, "I really am sorry for those things I said. I guess deep down maybe I am a little insecure of you and John being friends. I just remember what you had with him before Hamburg, and sometimes I do forget that you had that past with him."

"It was a long time ago, George," I quietly convinced him, my head spinning, "I love you."

He sighed, holding me close to him, "I guess I just try to block the past out of my mind when it is still in yours so vividly. I know it was a long time ago, but its still your past. Over the last few years, I could've been a better boyfriend. I didn't think about how painful it must have been for you to suddenly be around John all the time when before you two hadn't spoken to each other. I just brushed it off because I tried to pretend it didn't happen in my mind. I'm sorry."

I kissed him. A million thoughts were whirling around my head. George really was the most gentle and caring soul I had ever known. So insightful and wise beyond his years, and he had gotten even more so in the past few months.

"It's okay, George. I understand," I told him, resting my forehead on his, "I just figured, especially after Brian talked to John and I, that I just need to get on with my life. There was no point in being miserable all the time because I had to be around him again. We're at different places in life anyway. I have you. He has Cynthia. And Julian."

George kissed me again, "I love you, darling."

The car horn beeped again.

"Paul's waiting for me," I whispered to him, getting lost in his eyes.

George held me close, "Can we grab something to eat after the studio tonight? I don't know how late I'll be, but I've missed just talking with you."

"I would really like that, George," I kissed him, getting up from the sofa, "I'll see you tonight, George."

I grabbed my jacket and handbag from the table by the front door and walked out to see Paul waiting in his car for me. I got into the passenger side, sighing as Paul turned around and drove out to the street.

"What's wrong? You and George still not speaking?" Paul asked me.

I looked over at him. I was glad that Paul and I had become closer in recent years. I missed having an neutral party to talk to about this. He was obviously best mates with John and spent a lot of time with him. But him and George were also good friends as well from school. He had a different perspective than me with everything going on.