Miss Americana // The Beatles

Chapter 51

December 24, 1965

John held my hands in the back of the car. We were being driven up to Liverpool to spend Christmas with Mimi and my family as well. The tour we had just been on was painful to say the least. I didn't feel comfortable showing affection to John in front of George just yet, and I felt so sorry for hurting him the way I did. So guilty. John assured me that it would be fine, but I wasn't so sure. I was glad it was over. Now I was nervous to see Mimi and step foot into Mendips again. I hadn't been there since before we left for Hamburg at the beginning of 1960. So much had changed since then.

"And Mimi doesn't know I'm coming?" I asked John for the millionth time.

John looked into my eyes, squeezing my hands, "Sasha, relax. We're surprising her. I haven't told her we're actually together again. I mean, I've told her that we were having an affair, but she doesn't know that it ended well yet."

"I wonder what she'll say," I thought out loud.

"She'll be thrilled," John said, "She didn't come to mine and Cynthia's wedding because one, she didn't like Cynthia for me and two, she was cross with me for ruining what we had."

"Does she know about Hamburg, John?" I had often wondered if Mimi had ever found out the truth of why our relationship ended.

I knew Mimi loved me. I knew she wanted John and I to get married in those days. She spent so much time teaching me how to fix John's favorite things. She was an amazing and strong woman. She would still send me a card on my birthday every year, even though John and I hadn't been together.

"No, if she found out about Hamburg, she wouldn't hesitate to murder me and hide my body somewhere," John laughed, "She was so mad when I told her we had fallen out and wouldn't be together anymore. She'll shit her pants when she sees you with me."

I grinned, "I hope she's okay with me coming."

John didn't say anything, he just kissed me sweetly. Soon, the car stopped in front of Mendips. My heart started to race as John helped me out of the car. The driver grabbed our bags and sat them on the front doorstep. I took a breath.

"Ready," John asked, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers.

I nodded, taking a deep breath again, the cold Liverpool air stinging my lungs. John lead me forward. When we got to the door, he let go of my hand and pushed me to stand behind him to surprise Mimi like we had talked about. John brought his hand up to knock on the black door.

I heard the door open, "John, you're late, as usual."

"Missed you too, Mimi," John chuckled, kissing her cheek.

"Well, of course I have missed you. I haven't seen you in ages since you're always on the road."

"But I always phone you, Mimi, every week. I've kept my promise," John said to her.

"I suppose," she said, "Cynthia and Julian aren't with you?"

"Not exactly," John told her.

He reached behind him and grabbed my hand, pulling me out to the side again to face Mimi. I missed her. I missed coming here and standing on this doorstep. My heart was racing. There were tears in the bottoms of Mimi's eyes. There were tears in the bottoms of mine.

Mimi stepped out onto the doorstep, bringing me into a tight hug. It surprised me, but I relaxed into her embrace. When I first moved to Liverpool and got close to John, Mimi was like my mother here in Liverpool, since I missed my own mother so much. She kept hugging me. I looked at John over her shoulder. He smiled at me. Tears streamed down my cheeks. It was  a little unlike Mimi to give hugs like this, and I knew I had meant a lot to her in those days.