Miss Americana // The Beatles

Chapter 39

July 6, 1964

I clutched George's hand in the back of the car on the way to the NEMS offices. I looked out the window as the streets of London went by. I thought of John. We had arrived from Australia a few days ago, and I hadn't seen him. Although I had agreed to start an affair with John, we actually hadn't consummated it since that one night in Australia. I was trying to be careful. I didn't want to do anything suspicious where George would suspect a thing. George, on the other hand, had apologized for the way he acted in New Zealand. I told him not to worry, and I was still shocked that lies could leave my mouth so easily when looking into his eyes, but I guess love can do that.

"I wonder if anyone will even show up," George murmured squeezing my hand.

I laughed, "Of course people will show up. There will probably be loads of fans there."

Tonight was the premeire of A Hard Day's Night in London. We were told by Brian that Princess Margaret was going to be there as well. After the film, a champagne supper was going to be held at the Dorchester and then I guessed we would go dancing to celebrate.

George kissed me, "I'm glad I get to have you on my arm tonight, darling."

I touched his face, "Me too. You look so handsome."

I loved George, I really did. Deep down, that confused me. Once I had said I loved John out loud again, I didn't love George any less. Regardless of what happens, either way, I would still have a man on my arm. It was terrible to think, but it was the truth. The car stopped in front of the NEMS offices, and George and I made our way inside. The other three boys were there along with Maureen, Jane, and Cynthia.

I hadn't seen Jane and Maureen since before the tour, and I obviously had so much to tell them. I noticed Cynthia had gone off to the bathroom, and John was attempting to tie his bow tie in the mirror by Brian's desk. Paul was standing next to him.

"Jane tied mine for me," Paul said as John cursed at his bow tie.

George was talking to Ringo, so I wandered over. I stood in front of John. He faced the wall, so that no one was behind us. I brought my fingers up and tied John's bow tie for him.

"You men don't even know how to tie your own ties," I shook my head as I teased John.

Jane came to stand beside Paul, "It's a shame really. These two can write massive hits that are made into a film and they can't even tie a tie."

I laughed as I looked up at John as I tied his tie. We looked into each other's eyes. Past his long eyelashes, those green specs sparkled at me buried within the hazel. I batted my eyelashes at him.

"I love you," he mouthed to me with no volume coming out of his mouth.

I smirked at him. Paul cleared his throat as Cynthia emerged from the bathroom. Jane's eyes were as wide as saucers. I finished John's tie by straightening it up.

"Your poor husband doesn't even know how to tie a bow tie," I laughed as Cynthia walked over to us.

She shook her head, "I'm glad you know, I don't know how to do it either."

"Thanks Sasha," John said.

I grinned at him, "No problem. I'm heading to the loo. Don't you guys leave without me."

I walked into the bathroom and let out the breath I had been holding as I leaned over the sink. John mouthing I love you to me had me all hot and bothered. It really had been too long since our last encounter. We were supposed to be having an affair after all. It just hadn't been acted upon since I actually agreed to it.