Hotels are cheap (ddlb) Kellic

I still remember the night

You tried to kiss me through the window.

"They're dead?" I asked Jack. This phone call had managed to fail at being the pickme up that I needed.

"Yea Jesse first then the next night or so Justin. They were ruled as murders." Jack spoke through the phone his mouth full of breakfast. Daddy had just left for work. And I was feeling bigish today. Probably around the age of 12. Daddy has been super nice to me ever since that incident.
You know, the one when he killed my friend in front of me and then proceeded to hurt me behind a locked door. Kinda like j-

"Kells you there?" Jacks voice came snapping me from my thoughts.
"Yea yea sorry I was just ... thinking."

"Do you know when you're going to be coming back me and Gabe miss you."

"I dunno soon I hope. The UK was fun at first but I really miss you guys too. I think we came out here to get away from justin and Jesse. Now that they died I guess it would be safe to ask daddy if We can go home."

"Great. You okay knowing they're dead?"

"Well they did hurt me real bad but I guess im sad cus besides that stuff they were my best friends." I spoke before sipping my orange juice.

"That's understandable. There have actually been alot of killings around here recently."

"What do you mean?"

"You remember that guy that was supposed to be your friend and went to that party with you guys and he turned out to be a real bag of shit and worked for Jesse?"

"Benny?"

"Yea him, dead murdered by being stabbed to death, similar to how jesse and Justin Died. Gabe thinks its bad Karma. Actually you know it's starting to seem like anyone who ever hurt you is being stabbed to death."

"You dont think thats it do you?"

"I mean maybe. It kinda adds up, but who would be doing it for you?"

"I- Jack I gotta go, Ill call you later." I said before hanging up the phone.

This was all too peculiar. Jack was right things definitely added up. I felt myself becoming older. Vic never let me watch tv or go on the internet. Sure he's my daddy and what he says goes... for little me but im older right now.

I get on vics laptop and look up documents from the recent murders in San Diego.

Immediately a string of news reports flash on the screen. Connecting evidence to all the murders. All killed in the same way and all around the same time of day, looking through all these reports it seems they all have something else in common. They were all my abusers at some point.

Jack began to seem very right about this all adding up.

Being home alone was very boring. I missed Oliver. Not having a babysitter is apart of my punishment I guess. It began to get dark outside, I realized how hard doing grown up things on my own actually was.

I had to make my own food. Put my own dishes away. Go to the bathroom alone. Watch tv alone. I did everything alone. I was beginning to feel so lonely.  I even had to run my own bath.

My bath was the best part of my night. It was warm and I included way too many bubbles, I had time to think about more then me being alone.

Are all my abusers dying and why? Why cant I have a cell phone? Why can't I watch the news? Why couldn't Vic just fight Oliver- he didnt have to kill him.  Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of my lost friend.

Though I resented Jesse and Benny I didnt necessarily want them to die. Justin either. Justin was my absolute best friend and he was just doing what he had to to get help. I cried because of that too. I cried in the bath for three hours. It was well past my bed time and my fingers were all pruned up.

I quickly got into my pajamas and got in bed.

I waited for Vic until I couldn't wait anymore.

I fell in to a deep troubled sleep filled with dreams of losses and painful sexual assults.

I just want to be loved. I just want to be a baby.