The Side Piece |18+|

We need to talk

Her words played over and over in my mind. 

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. 

She knows. She has to. She knows me better than I know myself, she always has. 

Eighth grade graduation, we attended our morning classes. I was overweight, built like a linebacker and made fun of all the time for being the fattest kid in class. 
Alyssa was the most beautiful girl in our entire class, everyone wanted to date her and she always turned them down politely. I don't know what gave me the courage, but I walked right up to her after math class

"H-hey, um..I was wondering.. if you're going to the dance later..would you like to dance..with me?" 
Her face turned red all over as she smiled. I expected her to make fun of me like everyone else, but she didn't. 
"Really? I would love to!" She smiled 

That night, after we got our little diplomas and were escorted to the gym, I looked for her, I even convinced myself that she had lied to me, that she was playing a prank. 

She wasn't though. 

Once we locked eyes we both smiled and walked towards each other. We spent that entire night dancing and laughing together, the next day before classes started I asked her to be my girlfriend. 

She said yes. 

I thought I was going to piss myself because I was so nervous, she kissed my cheek and I melted into a puddle of goo. 

As the years went by, we experienced all of our firsts together. First kiss, first time, first fight, first everything. She helped me find my passion, and encouraged me to go to school. She went with me everyday to the gym and cheered me on as I lost all of my weight and bulked up into the fit man I am today. We supported each other in everything, we split everything and made sure to lift each other up no matter what. 

I can pinpoint the exact moment we started to fall apart. 

And it was my fault. 

All of this, is my fault. 
I had never seen her so broken before in all of the years we have been together. I didn't think I was hurting her as much as what I am. 

I had gotten off work one night and went home excited to spend the weekend with my wife, I walked in the door and she wasn't home. When she did come home, she was tired, when I woke up in the morning she was gone. She had to go to work. 

I supported that. 

Always. 

She loved her job and she busted her ass to get that studio. 

If she wasn't going to be home then what was the point of me being home? 
I went to the bar with some of my coworkers, after a few beers I found myself up at the bar trying to order another drink for myself 

"You look lonely" she smiled 

Eventually, numbers were exchanged. A friend to talk to on the nights my wife was unavailable. 

And then one night I went too far. 
We were drinking at the bar, things got out of hand as we went shot for shot, one thing led to another and I fucked her in the bathroom. 

When I went home guilt washed over me. 
Alyssa was waiting for me, she had dinner on the table and was just about to pack it up after waiting for me

"You missed our anniversary, is everything okay?" 

Fuck. 

I not only cheated on my wife, but I did it on our anniversary. 
How could I kiss her knowing I had another woman's perfume in my clothes? 
Another woman's vodka cranberry flavored kisses on my mouth? 
Another woman's body in my arms? 
I started to shut down from the guilt. 

Less physical contact
More distance
Less time

And eventually Tina just became my everything as I pushed myself away from Alyssa so I felt less guilty for my actions. 
If I made her hate me, and push me away, it was better than admitting I fucked up. 

I sat there in my beach chair with my toes in the water as Tina swam in the waves. I pictured Alyssa still crying on the couch, falling apart at the seams. 

I should be there. 

But I'm not.

Instead, I'm in the Bahamas, giving my girlfriend the vacation my wife deserves. And I know the only reason Tina is with me is because I'm physically attractive and when she met me she assumed I had more than enough money for the both of us. 

She wouldn't be with me if I was still fat. 

She wouldn't be with me if I had zero dollars in my account. 

You know who would? 
Alyssa. 
My wife. 
The love of my life that I ruined because I'm a selfish fucking prick. 

I need to go home.
I need to tell her everything and beg for forgiveness, even if it's every single day for the rest of my life. 

"Tina..we need to talk… "