General Lee's Revenge

Chapter Six: Hughie Hogg

Boss Hogg and Rosco sat in the law office. They had all the doors and windows open because of the heat, and both of Rosco's dogs had their tongues hanging out of their mouths. Brutus was so winded he was acting the way Flash did daily, lazy. The soft ticking of the clock was droning, soon sounding like a gun being fired every second. Tick, tick, tick, bang, bang, bang. The sound of tires screeching across the asphalt roads pierced their ears and the bangs got louder. It was soon realized that the bangs weren't coming from the clock, they were coming from real guns.

Brutus sensed it too and began barking. Rosco and Boss Hogg rushed outside to see a rough-looking car tearing around the town square. Hands protruded from the windows, all holding pistols. They fired continuously. Bang, bang, bang, bang, BANG! Boss Hogg and Rosco ducked their heads as a bullet whizzed past them.

"Gjit!" Rosco exclaimed.

Boss Hogg let out a terrified yell. "Dang blasted!" He looked around, finding that the car had disappeared. "Where'd they go?"

Rosco looked around, also noticing that the car had vanished.

The fronts of the buildings had holes in them from the stray fly of bullets, many of them sporting shattered windows and hole-filled doors. People were slowly emerging from the safety of their floors, looking around at what remained of the main street of their beloved town.

Down the street, Miz Emma Tizdale crawled out of her post office, then stood on the sidewalk to inspect the damage done to her building. Mr. Rhuebottom did the same, sweeping up the pieces of what remained of his storefront.

"Hazzard's really seein' a streak of bad luck, huh?" a voice asked from behind Boss Hogg and Rosco.

They both whirled around to see a familiar being standing there. Boss Hogg gasped and Rosco scowled.

"Hughie Hogg?" Boss Hogg exclaimed.

Hughie tipped his hat. "The one and only."

Rosco took a few steps closer to Hughie, his six-foot-one stature towering over Hughie's five-foot-eight. "What're you doin' here, Hughie?" Rosco snarled.

"I just have a business proposition for Uncle Boss."

"Business proposition?" Boss Hogg asked dumbfoundedly.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice that this, ah, historically dense town was running into a bit of trouble, so I decided to pitch in some."

"How much is 'some'?"

Hughie examined his fingernails lazily. "Oh, just fifteen thousand dollars, give or take."

Boss Hogg nearly choked on his breath. "Fifteen thousand dollars! From what? For what?"

"Well, a little from me, and a little from you. I was thinkin', with a little downpayment to me, I could keep all those nasties away from here. I'm coughin' up just enough cash to repair the town, that's fifteen thousand dollars going into fixing the buildings. Now, you can pay me back in full or we can arrange for downpayments to be made."

"What's in it for me?"

Hughie plucked the hat from Boss Hogg's head and showed him that the brim had a tear in it from a bullet. "I can keep that gang away from Hazzard as long as you keep paying us- I-I mean me."

Boss Hogg raised an eyebrow. "If I pay in full, what does that get me?"

Hughie gave him his hat back. "Same deal either way."

"Alright, I think we're gonna have to stick with the downpayments."

"Fair enough, we'll stay in touch."