General Lee's Revenge

Part Three, Chapter One: I Wish I Was in the Land of Cotton

All of this madness had driven Daisy to her breaking point. So now, she sat in the Boar's Nest, trying to complete her nightly shift with her BAL over the legally intoxicated line. Luckily, Jim, the bartender, called Luke from the Boar's Nest telephone and told him to come pick her up. The older Duke agreed, of course, and soon enough, the General Lee pulled into a parking space out front.

As Luke walked in, he could see why Jim had seemed so ecstatic on the phone. Daisy was gone. She was so far gone, it was almost humorous. But this was no joking matter. Daisy needed to get home before something happened, and the fact that she was a Duke wasn't helping matters any.

Luke took her gently by the hand and began to lead her away.

"Noooo. I gotta finish my job," Daisy slurred.

She pulled her hand away and turned back to what she was doing. Luke put an arm around her shoulders and began leading her away once more.

"C'mon Daisy, we need to go home. It's late, you're drunk, and you ain't helpin' anythin' by doin' this," Luke argued.

"I ain't drunk," Daisy whined.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

"C'mon Daisy."

"Oh, okaaay."

Luke led her outside and helped her into the General Lee. He swore he'd turned the car off, but now it sat outside, the engine rumbling fiercely. It was raining heavily, and the night sky was dark, having become void of any stars and moon. Luke reached for the gearshift in the center console. His hand missed it as it shifted into place by itself.

"What the... what is goin' on?" Luke asked himself.

The engine revved loudly. Daisy covered her ears. The radio began to play, and the General Lee rolled backward out of the parking space. The headlight panels opened, revealing only a single working headlight. The engine revved again, even louder this time. The radio stopped, and the engine killed. All was quiet.

Luke reached for the key, turning it carefully. The engine became alive once more. Just then, the Dixie horn blared, and the engine revved.

"Alright, enough of this," Luke growled. He turned the wheel sharply and pulled out of the Boar's Nest parking lot. He continued west back towards the farm.

Daisy rested her head in Luke's lap. "The car's possessed."

Luke shook his head. "No, Daisy, it's just the engine actin' up. The General just has a few wires loose, that's all. I'll take him to Cooter's tomorrow and get him fixed."

Daisy yawned. "Okay." She began drifting off to sleep.

Luke slipped an arm around her. Right, that was it, just a few loose wires. That's what had made the radio turn on and the horn go off. The engine, he'd just forgotten to turn it off.

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That next morning, Luke drove the General Lee to Cooter's Garage in town. He was just opening up by the looks of it. The streets were shiny from the wet of the rain, and mud puddles littered the dirt roads. As Luke pulled up to the garage, he could see a beautiful, red Fury sitting inside. The General Lee stopped in front of it and stalled. The Dixie horn began to play on its own.

Luke quickly climbed out, lifting the hood, and pulling out the wires connecting the horn. The beautiful trumpet of the first twelve notes of Dixie died. Luke slammed the hood shut and threw the wires onto the dash. He growled frustratedly.

"You alright there Luke?" Cooter asked, walking up to where the General was parked.

"No! This dang car is actin' up again. Radio's been turnin' on by itself, the horn's been goin' by itself, the gearshift's been actin' up. I dunno what to do with it anymore!" Luke explained, kicking the General's fender.

Cooter looked at the General Lee, then he looked back at Luke. "Have you tried havin' a little patience?"

Luke gave him a confused look. "What're you goin' on about?"

Cooter sighed and sat down on the hood of the car. "Well, what I mean is that maybe there ain't nothin' really wrong with the General, you just think there is. I assure you, Luke, that nothin's changed since you brought him here five days ago. You're just stressed out, you've lost your patience for the General, and who knows, you might lose patience for Bo next."

The General Lee's engine roared to life on its own.

"See? That's what I've been talkin' about!" Luke exclaimed. He reached inside the car and pulled the keys from the ignition.

Cooter pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, I see what you're talkin' about now. I'll take a look at him, but you gotta promise me one thing."

"Okay, what?"

"That you go see Bo. I think you'll feel a whole lot better once you do."

Luke's heart dropped, and his stomach twisted. "I... I dunno. I think I'd end up feelin' a whole lot worse if I did."

Cooter put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "I know how you feel, trust me, I've been there. But once you break that ice... you'll be doin' yourself a world of good."

Luke nodded understandably, considering his friend's advice. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.