[Turning You] On!

[Turning You] On! Chapter 39

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You Are My Rock - Beyonce

        It had been five days since I had last seen Terry. He had texted me a million times and called me too but I never answered his call. I was too upset with him and I didn’t know why. It was just a blow job. That what I kept telling me self. I thought that I would always be able to get over a blow job. But I was so angry over the fact that Terry got a blow job. Or maybe over the fact that his blow job was Tanya. Damn, I hated her. Why was she so fucking conniving? She knew that Terry and I were together so why mess around with him? I threw my head back on the pillow.

I hated him. Why would he do that? Yea it was just a blow job, but it was a blow job on the guy I was in love with. A guy I saw myself spending my life with and a guy I trusted to not cheat on me, lie to me, or hurt me. And this hurt so bad. All because I went with Rickey. All because I went to help out a friend. Ugh, I was done with him!

I sighed as I wiped the fallen tears. Who was I kidding I was in love with this guy. I couldn’t resist him. He made me crave him unexplainably. He had been my rock ever since he had gotten here. He was there for me when I was dealing with my parents, even when he and I weren’t in a relationship I felt like I could trust him with anything. He was always there for me even when I betrayed him and lied to his face. At least he had the guts to tell me the truth when I asked him about it.

I just couldn’t erase it from my mine though. No matter how much of the good things I bought up I was still upset.  Yea it was just a blow job but it was also cheating. He had cheated on me with Tanya all in retaliation of me going with Rickey to meet his father. I think that made it worse. The fact that this wouldn’t have happened if he would have stopped being so jealous and trusted me. He hung out with Tanya on multiple occasions and I never went and called up anybody else to hang out. Hell, she had her ass pressed up to his dick but I didn’t tell them to stop hanging out and I sure as hell didn’t go find comfort in someone else. Was it okay for me to be angry or was I just overreacting? I felt as if I didn’t have a right to be mad because I had done more than a blow job. I had slept with two people and then lied about it to his face.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go see him. I wanted to go see him so bad. I missed him and I hated being away from him. Call it pathetic but I was in love with Terry and no matter how much his actions hurt me, he was the one I wanted to be with right now to make everything feel better. He was the one I craved by my side.

I knocked on the front door. It was dark outside and windy out. The hot breeze whipped across my face. My hair swirled around my head as I waited patiently outside. What the hell was I doing? Was I really going to forgive him this easily or should he have to work for it? I was so confused and the fact that Terry usually helped me with decisions wasn’t making things any worse. I shook my head before turning back around and getting in my car to leave. I had no clue what I wanted to do. I was confused and indecisive and it wasn’t helping me out at all.

I knocked on the front door.

“Hey Brielle,” Clary answered in nothing but a towel.

“Hey can I come in?” I asked ignoring the fact that she had on no clothes.

“Uhm what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Can it not wait?”

“No,” She groaned.

“You know you are getting in the way of me getting some.” I laughed.