AM Conversations (Niall Horan)

Chapter 22

NIALL

I looked at her when she moved away from me and my eyes roamed on her happy face. I didn't know why she didn't feel comfortable with that double date but the point was not to stress her. I wanted us to spend a nice evening and have fun the way double dates always should be, not that I was really used to them. It did happen a few times but I wouldn't really call those 'dates', they were more like 'hook ups' but I hadn't had any on the last tour because I really didn't see the point. Still, I was sure it would be fun with Liv and even if we were both reluctant about each other's relationship, I knew we could both have a nice time as long as we respected everyone.

"Honey?" she chuckled. "Why that word?"

I smiled slightly and finally looked down at my lap. I couldn't tell her I got that word because of the way she smelled. I had noticed her shampoo was a mix of vanilla and honey scent and I thought the latter was easier to work with. I couldn't lie to myself, I had to admit that in the past few weeks, I had noticed things about my best friend that I hadn't noticed before, like the way she smelled. There was more than that, though, and it felt like I was discovering her again. After all these years, I thought I knew her by heart but I couldn't be more wrong. I noticed the way her nose raised up when she laughed, how her laughter actually echoes on the wall most of the time, and the way I could read all her emotions on her face. I really just had to be attentive and realized there were so many small details I didn't see before but now, I wanted to focus on all of them and memorize them.

"Just seemed like a good idea. It's not a nickname I normally use but I don't think it would bring up suspicions." I shrugged with one shoulder as I explained.

"Yea, i'm sure Maya and Harry will love that we call each other 'honey' on a double date." she chuckled, bringing her hand to my upper arm and squeezing it lightly.

I glanced at her hand and blinked a few times. I knew she had always been affectionate like that but why did it feel like I had just realized it today?

"Oh come on!" I rolled my eyes with a smile. "They gotta get used to it, right? That's just how we are."

When I brought my attention back to her, she was staring at me with a small but fond smile and just just nodded slowly. I could have sworn something had happened today, like something had shifted. I could swear she was hiding something from me.

"Alright, so it's settled."

We looked at each other for a while but it felt natural when we cuddled again to watch the movie together. I was not sure we'd be able to do that again when she'd be officially dating Harry and it bothered me. Was he right? Was I being possessive with my best friend?

"Do you think your lover should be your best friend?"

I felt her tense against my side but waited a few more seconds to turn to her. The second 'Back To The Future' movie was almost over, which meant we hadn't talked in a few hours but it didn't feel awkward at all.

"Uhm, I'm not sure, I guess it depends who it is and how it goes."

I looked down at her but she avoided my gaze as she kept looking at the screen without really seeing it. I had no idea why my question made her so nervous but I just shrugged.

"I was just curious to know if we were still going to be best friend when you start dating Harry."

This time, she sat up^and turned her head my way. Our eyes met and she tilted her head with a frown. I had never noticed how her eyes seemed to express everything she was feeling inside. Was I blind before?

"Okay, look." she started, shaking her head a bit, still looking at me. "I'm not sure I want to date Harry, and i'm not sure what's going to happen. You're my best friend and you've always been, you know that will never change. And, I know I do it too but i'm so fucking tired to talk about Harry, and Maya, and what could happen between us. I miss how things used to be. Before all this."