AM Conversations (Niall Horan)

Chapter 21

OLIVIA

There's no one else like Niall to make me smile when I don't even feel like it and when he licked my cheek, I couldn't help myself. I didn't know why I lost my temper when Niall mentioned Maya while we were cooking but her name made me angry and jealous. I didn't know what had happened between Niall and her, all I knew was that she had deleted the picture of them kissing from her instagram account and for some odd reason, it had made me feel lighter, like a heavy weight had been taken off my shoulders. I knew it meant nothing and that they probably still had something going on but the fact that the whole world was not a witness of it made it better.

I stared at him the whole time we ate, feeling extremely lucky that he hadn't given up on me. I know it can sound cliché but most guys I knew easily dropped their female friends when they got an official girlfriend but Niall had never done that. Of course, he was less available if he went steady with a girl but it didn't happen much and I understood, but he always made time to see me and talk to me.

We washed the dishes without a water fight this time and ended up in the living room. I searched through my spotify playlist and put music on. He groaned and even if my back was facing him, I knew he was rolling his eyes, which made my lips curl even more.

"Liv, why?"

"Because I'm a One Direction fan." I explained in an amused tone as 'Infinity' started playing.

His voice filled the room and my smirk turned into a fond smile. I couldn't explain how much I loved hearing him sing but it brought in me a sensation of well-being that I couldn't explain. Maybe it was only because of how much I loved him but I felt like there was more to it. If I was being honest with myself, it was everything he did, everything he said, everything that emanated from him, like some sort of incredibly intense sentiment that made me literally vibrate in his presence. And I knew it sounded stupid and cheesy and cliché... but it was the truth. It was him and everything he was.

"This song makes me think of you." I admitted in a low tone, not daring to turn around to meet his gaze. He was probably frowning and I tried to focus on the beating of my heart inside my chest. The rhythm was abnormal but I tried not to think about it. "And me, too. Like this song was a bit of both of us."

He didn't say anything and I remained motionless, staring at the tv on the wall and trying not to say too much even if I knew I had to explain myself.

"I mean, I know that feeling, in the first few verses. I keep falling and it hurts... Everything seems to go so fast yet I can't seem to follow. I feel frozen most of the time, like there's nothing I can do. And you know, I followed you on that tour and it was crazy. I lived things I couldn't even dream of living and saw things I never thought i'd see. Yet everything seemed to go so fast I felt like I couldn't quite follow. Like I was always a few steps behind."

"Behind what?" his voice echoed inside me, making my heart skip a beat.

I licked my lips and breathed in before turning around slowly and shrugging.

"Behind you."

His eyebrows raised but then fell and turned into a frown. He shook his head slightly, not really understanding what I was saying but it took me a few seconds to continue.

"And you know that part where it says 'everybody wants you'?" I nibbled my bottom lip. "Well it's true. Everybody wants you. I knew everyone wanted you before but when I joined you on tour it made it so much more obvious."

I swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears inside. I was being emotive and I just stared at him as he stared back, sitting on the couch, his back leaning against it, until he moved his upper body closer and leaned his elbows on his knees. Instinctively, I took a step closer.