✔️Damaged - Choi San x Reader (ATEEZ gang)

Chapter 9

For the rest of the day, we just talked. I asked San questions wanting to know more and more about him.

"What's your dream job?" I asked San.

"I never really had a dream job but I would have loved to do something that could help others." He answered smiling at me. He then added "what about you?"

"I always wanted to be a florist when I was younger but I gave up on that as my parents said I wouldn't make enough money and I would be a shame to the family." I sighed while playing with my fingers.

San then grabbed my hand and played with my fingers. "Don't listen to what your parents say! Af the end of the day you should do something that makes you happy. Even if it doesn't make you much money. As long as you can afford a roof over your head and food you will be fine." San really was good at knowing what to say in situations.

"Do you want to go down and get some food?" San asked still playing with my hands. I nodded "but can we bring it up here to eat after we make it? I don't think I'm ready to face everyone yet." San agreed and we went downstairs to make food.

San turned away from me, letting me change into clothes so I could go downstairs. I got to the stairs and tried getting down them but I was too weak. "San, I can't get down." I mumbled sitting on the stairs. "I will help you and don't worry y/n! You will get stronger again soon." San replied carrying me down.

Once we were at the bottom of the stairs, San placed me on my feet but still helped me walk. We got to the kitchen and nobody was in there. They must all be eating in the dining room already.

San and I made a chilli con carne with rice. It was my favourite dish and luckily we had all the ingredients. San and I decided to sit at the island instead of going upstairs because it would probably be too hard getting me and the food up there and also no one seemed to be around.

After finishing dinner, San washed our plates and made me sit and wait for him to wash them.

Just then, the door opened and Yeosang walked through. Once he noticed me put his plate on the side and ran up to hug me. "Y/n, I was so worried about you! Are you feeling better now?"

I replied "I am getting there." While hugging him back. Wooyoung was the next to walk through the door. I hope they all aren't coming in. Wooyoung saw me and did exactly the same as Yeosang but squeezed me tighter in the hug. "I'm glad you are ok." Wooyoung stated still hugging me.

"Wooyoung too tight." I murmured while struggling to break free. Wooyoung stepped away mumbling "sorry" while pouting. He is so cute, bless him. I decided to get down from the stool at the island but as I hopped off and placed my feet on the floor, my legs gave way making me fall to the floor. Why am I so weak?

"Y/n are you ok?." Wooyoung asked while him and Yeosang helped get me up and placed me back on the chair. San ran over worried. "I'm fine." I mumbled not wanting to talk anymore. I put my head on the table, making my arms cover my face not wanting anyone to see the tears from my eyes.

I don't want to be weak! I want to be able to walk without struggling. I want to be able to do things on my own without needing help all the time. I want to go to school and see Anna again.

I looked up to the three guys who were still looking at me worried. When San saw my tears he bought me into the biggest hug but it wasn't too tight. "Help me! I hate this." I whimpered into his neck. What I didn't realise was that all the other members had came into the kitchen now, confused at what's going on.

Maybe I should just start taking the pills again. I would feel better. NO! I can't. I need to be strong. I tried to get off the stool again but this time San helped me. "Can I go upstairs? I'm tired!" I asked San. San nodded and we walked to the door. When I looked up to the door, I saw everyone stood there looking shocked. I ignored their stares and walked straight past them, going back to my room.

No ones POV
The boys watched as y/n left the room. She was ill? They all thought. "Why didn't y/n tell us that she was ill? We could have helped her." Asked Jongho

"She isn't ill." Seonghwa replied. He knew that y/n had stopped taking her drugs because her purse has been on the side in the lounge for the past week. "What is wrong with her then?" Asked Mingi.

Seonghwa sighed not knowing if telling the members was the right or wrong thing to do. "Y/n is going through withdrawal symptoms." The boys looked shocked. Why did none of them realise? They had all witnessed it before when it happened to San so why didn't they notice y/n was? Mingi looked pale. He wondered why he didn't notice. Has she been going through that much of a tough time? He thought to himself. He just watched the girl letting her break more and more. Mingi felt awful. His little sister is going through a hard time and he didn't even try to help her. It was all his fault. If he didn't leave, this probably wouldn't have happened.

Mingi felt shit knowing he didn't help her and probably made it worse. Mingi then did something he had never done since leaving home. He burst into tears. The members of Ateez had never once seen Mingi cry. He was never emotional. He always kept his feelings in, not letting anyone see his weak side but today he broke. Yunho went over to him and hugged him for comfort. Yunho took him to the lounge to sit and calm him down.

The rest of the members sat with him too, wanting to help him but Seonghwa decided to go and see y/n along with Wooyoung. They both knocked then walked in. Y/n didn't bother locking the door this time.

When they walked in, y/n was lying in bed next to San shaking. "I'm going to get some water for y/n. I will be back in a minute." San mumbled and walked out. Wooyoung ran over to y/n comforting the girl who was still upset. Seonghwa sat on the other side holding her hand.

"Y/n, we will help you! We helped San through this so we can both help you. Plus, the more of us that can help, the easier it will be for you to overcome it." Wooyoung reassured. Y/n looked over to Seonghwa who was nodding his head agreeing. Y/n was still shaking but not as much as before.

"I know this is going to be hard but I promise we will get you through this. We will stay with you throughout all of this." Seonghwa claimed. Y/n really hoped they would because she knew she wouldn't have the willpower to do it otherwise.

"Thanks, you two are the best." Y/n answered. Just then, San walked in and added "but I am definitely better than them" while smirking. Y/n laughed at San's ego but didn't disagree. That was the first time y/n had laughed properly for a while.

After a while of talking to the guys, y/n had stopped worrying and forgot about everything going on around her.

They were suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. Y/n went to get up but Wooyoung got up first. "You need more rest." He exclaimed while opening the door. Mingi was stood there with red eyes. He had finally stopped crying and decided that he needed to talk to y/n.

"Can I talk to y/n?" Mingi asked. Wooyoung nodded and the other two boys stood up to leave the room. Mingi walked over to y/n and stood by her bed. Y/n patted the bed wanting Mingi to join her.

"Look y/n, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. If I didn't leave you, this wouldn't have happened." Mingi croaked.

Y/n then stopped Mingi from carrying on. "Don't blame yourself Mingi! Yes, it probably wouldn't have happened if you didn't leave but we can't change that anymore. I'm sorry I became a disappointment. I went to parties regular, I did drugs and slept with guys but it was a mistake. I was so stressed from our parents that I couldn't deal with it anymore. It helped me for a while but then it just became an addiction." Y/n carried on telling Mingi the whole story of how everything started and didn't miss anything out.
She hoped that Mingi wouldn't hate her too much for what she did but Mingi felt the total opposite. Yes, he was disappointed but he knew nothing could change now and that he will be there for y/n.

Mingi also apologised for the way he acted at the shopping centre and after I went to Lucas' house. Y/n decided to forgive Mingi because he just acted how any overprotective brother would have acted if they found out they're sister was sleeping around and doing drugs.
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