Chapter 32

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Temptation

I was looking at Iris who was feeding our daughter. She looked at me and averted my gaze. It had been two months after the incident and so far I think I am keeping my promise of staying away from her. Yet doing everything a good husband should do.

 "Iris, I made dinner, come after you are done." She nodded not responding after that. I know she thinks I am pushing her away. But I am just trying to prevent the hurt that may comes with being closer to me.

I made her a plate and one for myself though I know very well that these few months I hardly able to eat anything, constant worry about my daughter and my wife as I try to keep her happy and safe had taken toll on me. I didn't wanted her to find out so, I always eat alone. As much as I can eat that is. Which is sadly not much.

I saw Iris walking out. "Is she asleep?" I asked. "Yes, sleeping." And then comes the shorter replies that made me known about her irritation. "Something's wrong? Are you in pain or..." "Stop it Sam," I was taken aback by her harsh tone of voice.

 "Stop pretending that you care when you clearly don't even look me in the eyes. Nor you have named your daughter. What do you get me for? A fool? I see the signs, I see how you do not want to be with me."

"No that is not true, I didn't name her because I wanted you to do so. I was waiting for you to wake up and..." "No Sam, you were not, when you want something so eagerly after getting that thing back you keep them close not push it away" 

She said with disappointment laced in her voice. "I am sorry I made you feel this way. What can I do to amend my mistake baby? Tell me." I asked her desperate to get it right. I want to make her happy there is nothing more I wanted to do right now but to make her happy.

"You want to make me happy?" I nodded. "Then give me my Sam back" I don't understand, I am here. Next to her, there is nothing to give back then why she is telling me to give her back her Sam? "The one I haven't lost to all this, the one who had loved me with his all.

 The one who wasn't hesitant to show me how much he had loved me. The one who had let me into all those secrets he kept. The one who was not afraid to show me his truest desires, the truest feelings of his heart down to the last moment."

I turned around and she hugged me stopping me from letting go. "I want you Sam, so very much. Can't you see, being away from you is destroying me." I turned around pulling her hands away from my body. "No, I don't deserve this, I don't deserve you. I do not want to hurt you. Not more than what I did." I whispered.

 "Maybe that is not up to you to decide. If I want to get hurt, it is my responsibility to bear that hurt. But if the fear of getting hurt keeps me from being with you, then I do not deserve to be with you at all." She said.

"You do not understand," I said cupping her cheeks in my hands. "Oh yes I do Samuel, I do very well. You are hurting yourself over me. You think you deserve that, but you don't. Samuel, you possess such a beautiful soul. You are one kind hearted person. I don't think you deserve punishment like this. For the things you have never done." I don't know Iris, I am not a good person. I never was.

"Why don't you resent me after all I did?" I asked. "Because I love you Samuel Richard King. And I will forever love you, no matter what." She said. I remember Ursula telling me that I was Iris's crush, and then I became her first love. In true sense I never loved anyone as I do to Iris, maybe that is why I am reluctant to make my move because I am afraid I might just hurt her.

"How can you love me?" I asked. She smiled softly at me and touched my face "The question is my love how can I not? You are easy to Love Samuel, very easy to love. You are lovable. Anyone can fall in love with you, because you are just like that" I doubt that. I took her hands off me. "Ok, enough, you need to take rest you are still recovering. Finish your food and get some rest" I said walking away.

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