drunk in love - shawn mendes.

twenty one

•shawn•

i woke up around 4 in the morning in mila's bed. she was sleeping soundly next to me, and i couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. i was so thankful for her, and i had a guilty feeling for getting drunk last night.

my throat felt dry, so i decided to sneak out of her room and into the kitchen. coming down the hallway, i could hear a hushed voice coming from the kitchen. it was either tayshia or marissa, not really sure which one. i think it was marissa. i didn't want to interrupt her, since it seemed like she was on the phone with someone. i waited outside the kitchen where she couldn't see me, and i couldn't help but listen in on her conversation when i heard her say the name "liam."

"liam, you can't come here. i have told you that a thousand times." she says irritatedly. i started to wonder if she was talking to mila's ex, but the next thing she said confirmed it. "mila has no idea i talk to you and i don't want her to find out."

i couldn't believe this. whenever mila and i are together, she does nothing but say good things about her roommates. i know that they mean the world to her, so i couldn't believe marissa would sneak around with her ex like that. i had to confront her.

i walk into the kitchen and she jumps in surprise. "fuck, i gotta go." she quickly hangs up the phone and clears her throat. "shawn, hey."

"talking to your boyfriend?" i question her.

her face immediately brightens with redness and she doesn't reply. i just shake my head.

"how could you do that to mila? and why would you even want to? he has a girlfriend and that guy is a fucking dick." i say in disgust.

"i didn't mean to catch feelings for him, i just—wait, you said he has a girlfriend? are you sure?"

i roll my eyes. "what did you expect? you know how he treated your friend so you shouldn't be surprised."

"you can't tell her, shawn. she will hate me."

"tell who what?" mila's sleepy voice says as she enters the kitchen. she rubs her eyes and yawns, which i thought was adorable. "what are you guys talking about?"

marissa looks at me, begging with her eyes for me not to say anything. i stand there with my arms crossed. i was in no mood for her bullshit, considering my alcohol wore off and now i had a migraine coming on.

"tell her." i say.

"tell me what? you guys are being so weird." mila furrows her eyebrows and looks back and forth between the two of us.

"i have nothing to tell." marissa says.

"wow, really? okay then i guess i will tell her." i turn to mila, opening my mouth to speak but marissa raises her voice.

"shawn shut the fuck up! this is not your business to tell so keep your mouth shut. if mila has anyone in her life that is causing issues it's you and your alcohol problem!"

now i was mad. like, really mad. like come at her whole life type of mad. i don't know what it was, but the anger was overwhelming me.

"don't act like me getting drunk is worse than you fucking her ex that nearly ruined her life and is still trying to fuck with her you fucking bitch!" i raise my voice back at her.

she comes closer, getting in my face although she was way shorter than me. "did you just call me a bitch? you can get the fuck out of my apartment if you're going to call me names!"

"guys, stop!" mila interrupts our screaming battle, and her voice snaps me out of my trance. for some reason, hearing her voice calmed me down and made me realize i needed to stop yelling. i didn't want her to see me like that. "please, stop... marissa, tell me what's going on."

marissa backs away from me, giving me one last intense glare before turning to mila. with tears forming in her eyes, she starts to explain. "i'm so sorry, i've been talking to liam and i didn't mean to fall for him but i did and i know that's so wrong to do and you don't deserve it but you know what it's like right? to like someone that you shouldn't?"

mila stares at her for a long time before answering. i couldn't read the look on her face, but she definitely looked like she was at a loss for words.

"he has a girlfriend, so just be careful. don't want you to get hurt." she says blankly. she then looks over at me. "i'm going back to bed, are you coming?"

i just nod, following her into her bedroom.

"mila, i'm sorry!" marissa shouts just before mila closes her door behind us. she climbs into bed, so i do the same. she doesn't cuddle up to me like usual, just faces her back to me and lays there quietly.

"you okay?" i ask her cautiously. i was shocked that she was so calm.

"you shouldn't have called her a bitch," she says, "that was mean."

"well she—"

"i know." she interrupts me. "she's a grown woman, she can do what she wants."

"you don't care at all?" i ask her.

she finally turns around to face me. "of course i care, but who am i to tell her who she can and can't be with? she knows what he did to me, so i really have nothing left to say. if that's what she wants then she can have it."

"how can you be friends with her after this?! i'm so shook right now. why are you so calm?! i'm literally so mad for you right now!"

she starts laughing. "you're so cute."

"mila! this is serious. you don't deserve this shit."

she touches the side of my face, leaning forward to kiss me. when she pulls away, she says "i know i don't."

that's when i realized i really couldn't hurt this girl. why would i insert myself into her life, knowing i'm probably going to mess it all up? i really need to try my best from now on.

no more alcohol.