drunk in love - shawn mendes.

nine

~mila~

dinner with my roommates made me feel the tiniest bit better about shawn ditching me tonight. we ate at olive garden, and i drowned my sorrows in endless breadsticks dipped in alfredo sauce. of course, he still hadn't texted or called me throughout the entire dinner.

i couldn't decide what i would do if he reached out to me again. should i give him a cold shoulder? he did stand me up, which is extremely shitty. i'm used to shitty things happening to me, especially when caused by shitty dudes, but this one stung a little.

knowing how i've dealt with issues in the past, my dumbass would probably forgive him easily. i told my friends to make sure i didn't, i had to at least stay mad for a little while. i don't know why i'm thinking so hard about this; i wasn't even sure if he would ever speak to me again, let alone apologize.

after dinner, i drive us back to the apartment since they decided to have some adult beverages at dinner. i wished i was 21 too, so that i could be on the same level of happiness as them. i'm the one that got ditched tonight, i should be the one pouring drinks down my throat.

once inside the apartment building, i was just ready for bed. i was growing rather annoyed with tayshia and marissa for being loud and happy. i guess i just wished something good would happen to me for once. everything has been so boring lately, and i was tired of the same old mundane life i have been living.

however, when we reach the top of the stairs and get in front of our apartment, i'm shocked at what i see.

there, sitting on the ground with his back against the door, was shawn himself. he looked exhausted and upset, and when his eyes locked with mine he stood to his feet instantly.

"mila, i am so so sorry..." he begins.

my friends grow silent then marissa says under her breath, "oh shit."

"i can explain what happened, if you'll let me please." he nearly begs. he seemed stressed and upset about something and it broke my heart a little.

my friends both look at me, as if to ask me if i wanted them to handle this.

"you guys can go inside." i say to them and they nod. after unlocking our door, they leave us in the hallway alone. i cross my arms and stare at shawn. "you were saying?"

"i..." he doesn't continue. he just sighs and stares at the ground.

"are you okay?" i can't help but ask.

he looks up at me again. i noticed his eyes were bloodshot again, and i wondered if he had been crying. imagining shawn crying made me feel sad. suddenly he begins shaking his head and i frown.

"do you wanna talk about it?" i ask.

"um," he clears his throat, "i don't know. i feel so bad for standing you up tonight, though. i wanna make it up to you. and i wanna tell you what happened but i don't know if i can talk about it right now. please don't hate me."

"i don't, shawn." i assure him, mentally scolding myself for being so kind. but he seemed to be really going through it, i would be a terrible person if i held a grudge right now.

"can i come inside?" he asks me vulnerably, making my heart melt. i nod almost too quickly, embarrassing myself.

as i open the door to go inside, he speaks up again. "you look amazing by the way."

i smile and thank him, closing the door behind us. we walk to my room together, and as soon as the door closes us in, shawn pulls me towards him. his strong, large hands grip my hips and he puts his face close to mine.

"thank you for being so nice to me." he says right before attaching his lips to mine.

i was taken by surprise at first, but relaxed against his body as i kissed him back. his lips felt so amazing on mine, i almost didn't notice the overwhelming taste of alcohol on them.