SINFUL *STILL editing*

SINFUL - 73

Cynthia noted how Kobe's waves had become unkempt and overgrown; he hadn't even bothered to put his durag on. It seemed like he was too lazy to do anything lately, all he did was sleep or lay up under her, everything else appeared to be even more of a chore than normal. Cynthia was trying to occupy herself with a Zara haul on YouTube, as she knew Kobe was fast asleep. She could hear his relaxed breathing but she still couldn't concentrate; she was too busy overthinking every single thing. Cynthia's mind kept drifting to him, and she hated how fear gripped onto her like a vice. She didn't know what to do about Kobe, it was as though she was watching him plummet into the sea and there was nothing she could do to stop him from drowning. Cynthia sniffed in his familiar scent of weed, his shower gel and Lynx Black Night, feeling comfort as Kobe snuggled closer against her, clasping onto her torso in the process. Clearly, he was trying to see if he could nestle his head any deeper into her chest.

She inhaled slowly and enhanced as she peered from him to her laptop screen. These days Kobe's whole aura was off, he was blatantly stressed. It was also evident that he was trying not to be so snappy but it literally just jumped out sometimes. Kobe was genuinely unhappy, and he had become extremely vulnerable and needy. He was constantly getting lost in his own thoughts, like he was physically there but his mind kept zoning in and out.

The whole of the first week following Lola's party, Cynthia has barely seen Kobe. He had hardly attended college and he would take forever to respond to her text messages. And of course Cynthia was patient and understanding, she gave him his space. She checked on him via text instead of bombarding him with phone calls. His behaviour improved somewhat by the second week and by week three, he was always around her. Almost every day for past two weeks, they were having sex, most of the time it was at hers  but sometimes it was at Kobe's house. Depending on their timetable, it was often multiple times in the same day. And in that time, Cynthia had learnt a lot and was beginning to understand what she enjoyed and what she didn't necessarily like during sex.

Kobe's stomach was in the knots as he once again saw himself washing Raheem's blood off his palms in his vision. Even within his dream, he felt himself trembling slightly at the vivid scene. 

"Kobes." Cynthia's eyebrows furrowed as she witnessed the distress on Kobe's expression as he slept. "Are you ok?" She asked quietly. "Kobe?" Cynthia peered down at her boyfriend, who had his head resting on her chest. Her finger lightly brushed over his baby-soft skin as she took in his thick lashes grazing his cheeks. In her eyes he could no wrong,  there had always been a gentle innocence about him. He seemed like he had woken up but instead of responding, it appeared that Kobe's mind had wondered off. He missed the look of concern on Cynthia's face as his eyes were barely open. She couldn't find the words to say what she was thinking, or ask the questions she wanted to ask. The night of the incident, Cynthia thought she had seen him pick up what she assumed to be Raheem's phone. Why? Did he know what had happened? Was he involved? Cynthia didn't want to question him but she needed all of this to make sense in her head.

His breath got caught in his throat as he finally opened his eyes and his steely expression softened as soon as he realised Cynthia was staring right at him with an apprehensive look on her face. He quickly broke their eye contact, the weight of her questioning gaze becoming too much for him in his sleepy state. They remained in silence as Kobe felt Cynthia's focus still lingering on him. The deep rooted sadness in his eyes dug into her viciously. In the last three weeks they had been practically inseparable and yet she had never felt so distant from Kobe. His large orbs remained fixed on hers, the pain in them indicating that he was dying to offload to her but he kept on holding back. Cynthia couldn't pluck up the courage to urge him to open up to her because the truth was, she was petrified of whatever it was that Kobe wasn't telling her. At the same time, she craved to know what was going on in his head, she couldn't stand the forlorn expression she kept seeing his eyes possess.