SINFUL *STILL editing*

SINFUL - 49

Cynthia stared at the iPhone screen, reading the message over and over again. She was trying to distinguish as to whether or not the text was implying what she thought it was. The feelings that she swiftly took hold of her gut told her to think exactly what it was that she was assuming. Although she knew she shouldn't have read it in the first place, she was somewhat glad she had. Cynthia was overcome with disappointment as she put his phone back into his pocket. She exhaled, wondering why she had even bothered to kid herself that this could ever be something substantial. She was well aware of the type of guy that Kobe was, and the habits he had adopted from his older brother. He wasn't about to change for her and Cynthia would not compromise who she was for him either. Nor did she have the energy to fight over him, especially not with Anna. Cynthia was very much intimidated by her and she believed that Anna knew this too.

Her heart involuntarily began to race when she heard footsteps approaching the front door. She didn't even have the words to question him as she had never been the confrontational type, plus Cynthia doubted she could handle even listening to what he had to say. She didn't want to hear any of it.

"C, I'm almost done yeah...just gonna get the ones from the front room." She was initially still, looking at him with weary eyes. "You...alright?" His expression remained neutral although he could sense that something was up.

"I need to go." Cynthia replied in a curt tone and stood up from where she was leaning on the staircase, leaving his hooded jumper behind.

"Huh?" Cynthia ignored Kobe and simply rushed past him, avoiding their bodies making physical contact as well as their eyes locking. She couldn't stand being close to him. Cynthia could only imagine his questioning gaze as she breezed by. "Cynthia?" He pulled her back marginally by her arm, confused by her actions as well as her sudden coldness towards him. Cynthia tensed abruptly, she really didn't want to show any emotion while still in Kobe's presence. She snatched her arm away and out of his grasp so quickly that he was alarmed. "C, what's wrong?" He spoke in a low voice, his words filled with uneasiness and worry. As she walked away from him briskly, Kobe allowed her to because he knew she needed to cool off. Yet, he was somewhat rattled by what had just transpired between them.

When Cynthia reached home, she rushed to her bedroom and locked herself inside. She couldn't even bear the thought of confiding in Andrea about what had happened. How would she ever understand when she always got whomever she wanted? Plus, her and Raheem were all loved up, she didn't need Cynthia dampened the mood with her drama. Cynthia had to suppress her raging emotions because she could sense that she was moments away from tearing up. She let out a few short breaths in an attempt to calm herself. She reached over to put on her speakers, once she had connected them to her iPhone Ray BLK's Patience began to play. She increased the volume as though the sound of the music would drown out her blaring thoughts.

For someone who seemed so concerned with not hurting her, Kobe appeared to be doing the direct opposite. Especially so early, Cynthia knew she couldn't handle that. Kobe of all people knew how delicate she could be.

Why was he playing these games?

She tried but she was unable to control her feelings. Cynthia wanted to be with Kobe so badly but it had dawned upon her that it just wouldn't be possible. She knew she couldn't compete with Anna, this saddened and frustrated her. Her stomach churned as the feeling of dread encapsulated her and she finally let out loud, staggered sobs. Cynthia climbed into bed, fully clothed and wrapped herself in between her duvet before crying herself into a deep sleep.