SINFUL *STILL editing*

SINFUL - 14

"Mum?" Raheem walked into his house cursing himself for not spending enough time at home with his mother. His mind scanned over the past week and how he'd been utilising his time. Between work, college, the library, his friends and Andrea he'd barely been at home. He walked straight into their front room and spotted his mother on the sofa with her knees up at her chest. The sight of her made him feel terrible. He paced over to where she sat. "Mum, are you alright?"

"Raheem, the flowers are dying." She gestured over to the flowers that were faltering in the vases in the hallway.

"It's fine Mum, we are due to get new ones tomorrow anyway." He smiled at her reassuringly. "Mum...why didn't you text me? Have you eaten your dinner?"
She laughed and then tilted her head and glanced up at her son.

"Raheem please don't talk to me like that, it is condescending." She cut her eyes away from him as he rolled his eyes. "I was making some sweet potato mash and salmon but as usual I make too much for one person...plus I didn't want to eat alone."
Raheem relaxed somewhat as he sat down beside her. The panic was gradually leaving his body. She didn't have to say much else, he already knew what was wrong.
He knew she was lonely.
"My bad."
"It's not your fault...what I need to do is get myself a man, but I was never the best at picking them."
As she spoke his mind drifted to how he would remedy this dilemma. He just wanted to see her smile, Raheem was aware that the happier she was the quicker her recovery would be.
"When I was 15 I had the nicest thick and long coolie hair. I was so slim but no matter what I wore boys could see my firm breasts and fat a*se."
"Muuuuuum!" Raheem winced as she continued with a look of nostalgia twinkling in her eyes.
"As soon as I saw your father I knew he would be mine. He was so tall and broad with his smooth caramel skin, oh the way he used to look at me. And stroke my hair and he would make love to me so tenderly..."
Raheem always felt peculiar when his mum spoke about his father so lovingly, especially as he was absent this present day. He had always been too afraid to ask her what happened between them and why he had abandoned his son.
"He would pull up outside my school in his car and I would be the envy of everyone. He was a few years older and treated me like a queen. Until I got pregnant, then I saw his true colours." Raheem gulped as he watched tears cloud his mother's vision. He wasn't ready to know the full truth yet.
"All I can say is it's worth it."
"What is?"
"Loving someone. It's worth the tears, the heartbreak and the sadness. All that pain is worth it, especially when I look at what it gave me." She held his face in her hands and Raheem's heart thundered in his chest. "Thinking about the feeling I felt when I fell in love, it makes me smile. It made me whole and I miss it. I miss him..." She whispered the last words as though she was ashamed of her feelings.
"You got me though Ma." Raheem embraced his mother and kissed her head.
"But I shouldn't be your responsibly. You should be mine." They shared a chuckle as they broke apart. "It's not fair on you to devote all your time to me when you have your own life to live." His mother was right but he knew it pained her to be on her own so much. The little relatives they had didn't seem to have time for them. If they were lucky they would see one another at Christmas. Raheem zoned out contemplating what he would do.
"Don't worry Ma, I got you."

*

She knew this was her punishment.

The time she had just shared with Raheem had been beautiful. His touch was so tender, every stroke into her told Andrea he loved her as cringe as it may sound. Andrea briskly wiped the stubborn tears that forced their way down her cheeks as she heard his car engine roar and him drive off. Andrea sat up on her bed naked feeling so confused. Even all the times that she had let Prince slide inside her, she had never felt so pathetic and hurt.

She hated Raheem.

He made her too vulnerable.
Why did he have to just leave like that?Andrea's mind was racing with thoughts that she couldn't make any sense of. She sat there feeling herself growing smaller and smaller. She had no one to speak to. Andrea missed her friendship with Cynthia so much and it frustrated her because she didn't know what to do about it. Andrea truly felt like everyone was pushing her away. She just needed to shake off the habit of running to Prince every time she needed some attention.
Andrea's eyes drew heavy as she couldn't stop herself from crying. She ran herself a bath, filing it with enough bubble bath to make the bubbles rise to the edge of the bathtub. She then tied her weave up and climbed in to soak her body.
The heat of the water seemed to loosen her muscles and allow her to relax. She told herself she couldn't lose Raheem. She knew she loved him. No guy had meant this much to her. All she had to do was hear his name and she would smile whole heartedly.
No one could kiss her like him.
No one made her feel whole like him.
When they fought, no one made her feel as empty.
When he was absent from her, she missed his presence dearly.
She knew she couldn't mess this up because nothing else had felt this way. They were both in deep. She wouldn't like her foolish past decisions or Prince rip her away from her happiness. There was no way she was going to go and visit Prince today, she could probably get away with it but as for tomorrow, she would think about that when the time came.