Is Love really enough?

I hate you, I love you

Sarah's POV :
      After we all returned to the room . I followed Shanu . Once we all returned into our room I locked the door from behind  so that he could not get out of the room.
"Shanu , we need to talk". I said in a serious tone. He did not even turn around to acknowledge my presence instead he kept humming some random song. I called him again but ,no reply . Finally I went near him and turned him around to face me.
"Shantanu Sharma, stop whatever you think you are doing". I said raising my voice a bit.
"What am I doing Sarah Oberoi". He said in a cold tone.
"You are avoiding me from yesterday, one minute you are all lovey- Dover and the next minute you are like a stranger!"
"We are strangers , it's you who has been sticking to me like chewing gum, just go away and I'll be fine". He said.
"Oh! So that's the reason why you're avoiding me? Why did you come here all the way from Switzerland Shanu? Don't tell me that you came to attend the wedding".
"I am present here because I want to be here".
"No! You are here to check whether I am present here or not , to check whether I left you again, tell me your investigators would have traced me down in Udaipur but you decided to join me in the ceremony . You are scared to lose me again. You know it too. But you would never accept it".
"The only thing that I am scared of is to end up with you ". He said  sitting on the chair.
"Did you ever love me?" I asked him .
" huh! Did I ever loved you?! I hope I never did that. Life would have been way more easier. I fought with your brother, the most powerful man in the country , only to be with you. He was a billionaire, he had high contacts and I was just a mere student, but still I married you as he warned me to take you away from me. Do you realise how many death threats were given to me when I was with you! I didn't tell you about them back then, they all said the same thing : leave Sarah or we will kill your family.Did I leave you? No! I was with you and was trying my best to fulfill all your needs. I worked overtime and then I had to study side by side , then act in front of you like everything is fine, and all you did at home was sit and eat. When you were done with this and wanted your comfy beds back you went to your brother. And you ask me if I ever loved you. It was very tough for me but for you it was just so easy, bored of this life: chnage it"
He said getting up from his seat.
"You know what it was not easy for me either. You tell me, I broke  my brother's trust to be with you. Deep down I knew marrying this early would be trouble but only because you wanted it I agreed. I left everything behind to live with you and what do I get in return? A mother-in-law who made my life a living hell there. Your parents were after my money . They wanted Sarah Oberoi as their daughter-in-law not me. I had to leave my college. Never in my entire life I did household work, leave household work I never took a glass of water with my own hands and in your house I was an unpaid maid. I would be ok with that too, only if you would have been a bit polite while talking to me, only if you would have shown me that you cared, I would have been happy. But instead you were at your worst behaviour , you always kept yelling at me for small things , never tried to talk to me about anything and you even tried to man handle me when I was defending myself against your mother that day. What did I do wrong ? I just wanted to give you a surprise but you people gave me a shock. If my dancing was a problem then you could have told me in a good way, yelling and man-handling were not that good options. I was scared , you're changed behaviour,your parents hating me, my college, everything summed up to one thing : that this is my life from now on. I never wanted that Shanu . I always had ambitions, I wanted to study and make my own identity , becoming a housewife was a plan I had for myself after I get old. I wanted to make the most of my life. With all this things going on in my mind I was confused . It was the same time when Riya met me. I told her everything and then she contacted bhai".
"As you always claim that you love me , you should have come back after you finished your education". He said .
"I was angry, you could have done that too. I thought you wanted me out of your life ,that I was a burden to you and from what you said now ,I guess I was right , I was a burden on you".
"A burden? I loved you Sarah! I was crazy about you ! You were my everything! How can you be a burden on me?"
"Then why do you behave as if you don't love me now? I know you still love me, don't you?"
"That was past , now the only thing I feel for you is hatred, I hate to breathe the same air as you do".He said moving towards the window.
"So you hate me? You don't care about me?" I asked moving near him.
"Yes. Absolutely correct, I love Rosa now. She is my life now".
"Ok! So explain me our kiss that happened in the bedroom , right after you saw Matthew kissing me on my forehead.
Tell me , why do you hate Matthew so much? Just because he is my friend? You seem to have no problem with Saransh? Let me tell you the answer , Matthew has feelings for me but Saransh does not. You hate him because he has feelings for me, you hate him because I am close to him, you are jealous of him Shanu". I said poking my finger into his chest.
"I am jealous of him? Are you crazy? Firstly I have no problem if you have any affair with him. Second. Don't give yourself so much of importance, I hate him because he is spying on my company". He said .
"So it has nothing to do with our closeness?"
"No, please stop talking you sound too immature".
"You have no problem if I have an affair with him! Right? So you will not have problem even when he holds me in his arms, takes me on date, hugs me tightly, sleeps near me,kisses me senselessly, makes lo-"
Before I could say it he yanked me closer to him and kept his hand on my mouth, his other hand was circling my waist.
"Stop talking!" He yelled.
I pushed his hand away from my mouth to speak.
"Why should I stop talking? Do you know , I have felt more pain than you have felt. I just spoke about him and you got angry. Just think what would my heart go through when I see you with Rosa. Atleast I and Matthew are friends but you and Rosa are bed buddies. Just think about the pain I feel when I see you two kissing , when you don't come at night and I wait for you even when I know that you are with Rosa. The night before our arrival , you used me for passing time. I thought you actually meant those things, but no ! All those things were for Rosa. You were imagining her in me! "
       He was tongue tied. I moved more closer to him and looked straight into his eyes and said," I felt hurt because I love you, I love you crazily, you accept it or not. But what about you? Why do you feel jealous? Why does my friendship with Matthew bothers you? If you don't have any feelings for me then you should not feel any jealousy,right?"
     He was about to move out of the room when I went near the door and held the door knob.
"Answer Shanu! Please we both know you have feelings for me! Then why do you deny it?"
"Sarah you are my wife in front of the world. If you start affairs with anyone it will have a direct impact on my business relations, so whatever you do with your personal life is my business . Don't get any ideas".
"You are very good at making excuses. Ok. I agree my affairs will affect your business so you got angry. But explain those kisses , the one where you told me to kiss you on my first day in our house. What was that for? Don't tell me there were paps clicking photos. Explain what happened yesterday. It was an accidental kiss , I was trying to move away but you kept on deepening it".

"Why did you move away yesterday like some stranger was kissing you?" He asked.
"If I would have given into the kiss then you might've said something hurtful after the kiss, I knew that and I was not ready to listen to anything hurtful as I was already hurting from the events that took place on the night when you used me as your time pass". I told him the truth.
          Soon there was a knock on the door , I went to open it . It was the room service. After I dealt with them , I closed the door . Shanu was just behind me and I didn't notice him coming.
"So you don't hate when I come closer to you". He whispered in my ear. I jumped on my place as his voice was very deep. I turned to face him only to get pinned by the door.

I was blank. I was just staring at the window. It became very interesting suddenly.
"Answer me". He whispered in my ear. I was losing it . I had butterflies in my belly. But some how I answered his question.
"No I don't hate it".
Suddenly my phone started to ring . I freed myself from his grip and moved towards the phone . It was from Aditya.
"Hey! are you coming for sight seeing?" He asked . 
       I told him that I'm in. After keeping the call I turned to see Shanu .
"So you are going for sightseeing?" He asked .
"I won't if you don't want me to". I answered .
"Will you come on a date with me ?" He asked , I was extremely surprised. He is asking me on a date. Hope it's not one of his sick plans. But if it is not then there's an improvement in our relationship.
"Yes".
"Ok! You go for sightseeing, till the. I'll make the arrangements". He said . 
     I nodded like an obedient child and went to change . After changing I took my bag and phone and was about to leave the room when he held my hand. I turned facing him. He came closer to me and the kissed me on my forehead. It meant a lot to me.

I saw the old Shanu in his eyes. I hope this is a new step in our relationship.
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