If You Knew Me

What If - A Short Story

Every time I closed my eyes, it came back to me.

I couldn't stop the memories. Why had I gone to that party? Why had I been such a fool to trust them? They said they wouldn't drink, they said that we could leave whenever we wanted to; they said it would be fun. I had thought that maybe I could change them. After all, they said that they were Christians. And only now I realized that Isaac had been right. He was always right...

I took a deep shuddering breath, and hung onto the bathroom counter for support. What am I going to do? I thought. Who can I tell?

The tears began falling fast and hard, running silently down my face. The bathroom door was locked, and my roommate was gone for the weekend. I only lived about 20 minutes away from home, but now, the distance seemed insurmountable.

I put my head in my hands, and his voice came rushing back to me.

"You know..." He hesitated, and I knew he was afraid of making me mad.

"What?" I asked. He had that serious look in his eyes. "Don't be afraid to tell me what you think."

He ran his hand through his hair, and looked across the street.

"Isaac."

"Ok. I think those friends of yours are no good," he said bluntly.

"I knew you would say that." I bit my lip. I had been expecting this to come up at one point. I knew he was just looking out for me, but at the same time....

"I know they say they're Christians, but are they really living it out?" he asked.

"Not really. But they've gotten better. It's not like they're going to give me drugs or anything..."

Only now did I realize the irony of that statement. I had known Jake liked me, but I never dreamed that he would....

"Hey." Jake's eyes glinted in the sparse light coming from the bulbs strung up across the garden.

"Hey. Um, when can we leave?" I hadn't realized that this was a drinking party, and the reveling was making me uncomfortable, as well as the amount of stoned people engaging in private activities in plain sight. For not the first time that night, I wished that Isaac were here. His presence and strength always made me feel safe. Or maybe it was just the thought of having a close friend to be with. Although, if Isaac was here, I definitely wouldn't be.

"Leave? We just got here! The fun's just begun!" He put his arm around my shoulders. "I got you a drink."

I shrugged his arm off, and couldn't swallow the feeling that something wasn't right. "No thanks, I don't want any."

"Come on! Don't you trust me? Its just Coke."

I hesitated. I didn't want to take the drink because this was a party, and he very easily could have spiked it with something. On the other hand, we had been friends in the same group for a while, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I took the cup, and sniffed it when he turned to greet someone walking past us. Smelled fine. I was really thirsty anyways.

I took a huge gulp, and the fizziness burned my throat as it went down. It tasted a little funny, like it was flat.

We stood there, just talking about school and stuff, and all of a sudden I started to feel dizzy and sluggish at the same time.

"Jake, I-" I grabbed his arm so I wouldn't fall over. Everything started to blur together.

"Are you ok?" He asked, a strange expression on his face that my mind couldn't process.