If You Knew Me

It's Only Business

It’s only business.

Never mind Ireland,

Never mind the connections we had,

Never mind your promise.

It’s only business.

No “how you doing?”

“How’s it going?”

Or “what’s up?”

Just “can you do this for me?”

“Can you sign up for this thing?”

Did you forget? Already?

Or do you choose not to remember?

Why do I even bother?

If you cared about me at all—

Even just as a friend—

You wouldn’t treat me like this.

It was all a lie.

Those smiles and those glances—

I don’t know what you were trying to accomplish,

But if your goal was to break down my walls,

With no intention of repair,

You won!

You broke me.

Are you proud?

You had a way of hiding the pain in the pleasure,

Where I’d almost feel it,

But would push it away because I believed in you—

Trusted you—

Maybe even loved you—

My mistake.

It wasn’t until you left that I realized I was bleeding,

That the pain started setting in,

That I realized I had given you so much of my heart

That you could break it,

That I realized what a complete and utter fool I was,

To let it come this far,

That I realized I had let you play with me—

Something you said you would never do.

My mistake.

Now—

When I see you,

I still see you the way I wish I could:

Kind, caring, loving.

I see the friendship that we had,

I see the secrets that I shared with you,

I see the look in your eyes that I drowned in.

But—

I remember what you’ve done to me,

And how I can’t ever trust you again,

No matter how badly I want to.

Now—

It’s only business,

And you’re not worth investing in.