Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Twenty-seven

Chapter Twenty-seven

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"Alex never comes to weigh-ins with me," Luke said as he entered back into the room with the small gown on, his arms crossed tightly around his body.

"Sometimes I like to go with patients to see if and how they are coping," the therapist remarked, watching the blonde stand there insecurely, shuffling from foot to foot. "Besides Alex would have done this eventually."

"Can we just get it over with," Luke muttered, looking at Keith beggingly. The man smiled sympathetically knowing that most patients found it more difficult when their therapist was in the room as they fell under inspection.

"Of course, when you're ready," he responded, letting the young boy follow the normal routine.

Luke did so, stepping on the scale, waiting for Keith to do all of the technical stuff before stepping off and waiting impatiently for him to ask the question. "Do you want to know your weight?"

For the first time, however, Luke thought about the answer. He knew if he were to hear the numbers he may have a breakdown and then he'd be confronted about it with Sid when he'd rather spend the day with Ashton. The blonde shook his head. "No thank you."

It was rare that patients said no, therefore, Keith was a little taken aback. "Are you sure, you usually do?"

Sid continued to observe the blonde figuring that he probably had some sort of game plan to divert him from seeing him panic for a brief moment before he can mask it after he finds out.

"No, I'm okay."

The therapist looked over at Keith and held his hand out of the piece of paper he had just written on. Scanning it he nodded to himself at the number reflecting on the week the blonde had. "Not too bad," he remarked handing the paperback and standing up and leaving the room.

Luke had watched him the whole time, trying to grasp a number from his expression and could only figure that he gained weight. Looking at Keith and back at the door to ensure Sid was gone, and then back to Keith again.

"You want to know?" he chuckled knowing that blonde was putting on some type of act in front of his therapist so he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences. Luke nodded with a small smile. "One-hundred and fifteen."

Luke stared at the ground for a minute contemplating the information. He didn't want to cry but the number made him feel heavy. "Okay," he whispered. "Thank you." Leaving the room he went back into the small changing room and slowly pulled off the gown and putting in the bin.

Standing on his tip-toes, he turned to the side and ran his hand over his stomach feeling the small bump that been forming over the weeks. He gently pinched some of the skin and sighed. He wasn't as upset as he would have been a couple of months ago, even a month ago. But, he wasn't content with the body.

For him the weight gain, the number wasn't the problem, it was the change to his body and the accumulation of fat that was reminding him that he had gained weight because seeing it was more eye-opening than the words.

Quickly Luke put his clothes back on and left the changing room to see Keith stood in the opposite doorway. "You know it's good to open up right?" he said before the blonde could walk away. "Sid came here today because he wanted to see what you are still struggling with, and if you did breakdown he could not only help you realise why you're being irrational but also scale how far along your recovery is."

Luke gave a thankful smile to the man and began to walk away. He wasn't at the stage of his recovery yet where he was able to open up, and he imagined Sid would be able to gauge that from his decline to know his weight he was not ready to share his thoughts and feelings.

Luke ran his index finger along the dirty corridor walls reflecting on the times he'd done this during his stay here. Most of which had been uneventful yet some had featured some mental breakdowns that he couldn't even fathom having now. He'd gained just as much weight this week as he had the week he bashed his head against the wall but he didn't have any urge to hurt himself now. Luke knew he was recovering, but some steps still seemed out of limits.

Ever since he'd left his room to go to get weighed, Luke had wanted to return to Ashton's comforting arms and talk about learn more about one another. Luke smiled, almost fakely, when he entered their room but it so faltered to a frown.

"Ashton, what happened?" he whispered looking at his hand that was covered in red blood, that was dripping onto their carpet, sure to stain. The blonde's eyes moving to the older boys face he saw tears. "What's wrong?" he asked walking towards him.

"Fuck off, just leave me alone!" Ashton hissed, causing the smaller boy to jump. Luke stared at Ashton confused, trying to figure out what he had done wrong, and why Ashton was in such a state. Luke had never seen Ashton cry before, neither be anything but calm and collected.

Luke began to back away, wanting to get someone to help him. "Where are you going?" he asked, quickly.

"To get a nurse, you're bleeding Ashton, it could be-"

"No, don't!" Ashton exclaimed forcefully. "If you tell anyone about this I swear I'll never talk to you again!"

Luke looked at Ashton's eyes and back down to his hand and shook his head. "Ashton you've hurt yourself. You'd do the same if it were me. I'm sorry." Luke hoped that Ashton was exaggerating because the thought of the curly-haired boy never talking to him again made his heart hurt.

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