Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-one

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"Hey," Alex said softly as he entered the blondes room. Luke was sat up against the wall, in the corner with his legs up to his chest. He looked vulnerable and was breathing heavily.

Alex smiled at the blonde, gently sitting on the edge of the bed not wanting to cause him to have yet another panic attack. "You've been through the wars today, haven't you," He chuckled looking around the room.

The walls were fairly bare, and a dirty cream colour that he did not doubt only fuelled individuals boredom and insanity.

The blonde looked up at him and smiled shyly, not sure if Alex knew what has just happened.

"I don't want to cause any arguments Luke, but we need to get your feed done, especially since you didn't have breakfast. And we still need to get your head and shoulder looked at."

Luke sighed, hoping he wasn't going to be pestered about it and left to his own accord but he knew that wasn't going to happen. "Okay," he whispered, his voice hoarse. He slowly pushed himself to the edge of the bed and slipped on his vans.

Alex exhaled thankfully. Sometimes it was easy to get the blonde to agree to eating and sessions, other times it would be a struggle. He had tried to find a pattern but the correlation was random and he couldn't figure out the blondes behaviour.

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The blonde sat quietly, slightly reclined as fluids were pumped through his tube. He never got used to the feeling, something so foreign.

"You have done really well this week Luke," Alex said after a little while from where he sat in a chair beside the boy. Neither had uttered a word on their journey here or during the first couple minutes, he had been sat in the chair, only asking if he was comfortable.

Luke smiled bashfully as to say thank you, looking down sadly at his torso.

"Not once this week has you refused to eat a meal. You just got on with it. And I know it may not seem like a lot, but it is a really big step. Even if you're not eating it all."

Luke bit his lip and took a deep breath. "I just feel worse than I did before I got here," he admitted. "I'm tired and I feel sick and then there's-" Luke suddenly halted what he was saying.

"Everything's maximised in here Luke. There isn't anything to your life but your disorder. No school, no family. That's why you've been struggling more so."

"I guess," Luke mumbles, beginning to fiddle with his fingers, bending his index finger back slightly.

The therapist looked over at the window, trying to think of the best way to approach the situation with the boy knowing that the more subtle he was the more aggravation it would cause the fifteen-year-old.

"Luke," he said slowly but firmly. "Do you hear voices? Or see things that perhaps you shouldn't."

Luke met Alex's eyes anxiously before they quickly darted back down. Closing his eyes tightly Luke sat silently for a couple of minutes, Alex letting him do so, knowing he was contemplating what to say. But for the therapist, he was no certainty that the blonde did.

Taking a deep breath Luke nodded. "I think I do," he admitted shamefully. "It's not normal, is it? You don't see things do you?"

Alex shook his head, placing a supportive hand on the blonde's shoulder. "No, I don't. But it's a good thing you're telling us because we can try and sort it out."

"What's wrong with me?" Luke asked, his voice shaky. "I'm not going to be stuck here forever am I? I'm not crazy!"

Alex opened his mouth and then halted for a second. "I can't be sure just yet Luke. But you're clearly experiencing psychosis whether it's from depression, stress or something else we need to figure that out."

Unexpectedly the blonde let out a small sob. "H-how do we stop it? I just want it all to go away."

"Fortunately you're in a ward that can help you. Our best option alongside therapy is to put you on some medication that at first will ease the anxiety that comes with these episodes and then hopefully reduce or prevent hallucinations as well as the self-harm that comes with it."

Sniffling the blonde nodded with understanding. "Medication," he whispered to himself, processing the information. He placed his hand on his stomach, then ran his finger up and down it, inspecting his body. "What are the side effects?" he whispered almost certain he knew.

The therapist smiled understandingly. "Weight gain is possible Luke. But I want you to weigh up the pros and cons here. A little weight gain in comparison to what it can prevent is surely more beneficial. If we do find that your body, in the condition it is in, doesn't react well then we will take you off of the medication and try and limit your episodes through therapy. But, it's necessary we try the medication first."

The blonde just closed his eyes again, his hand still unconsciously resting on his stomach. "I'm tired. So fucking tired of everything."

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