Off Ones Rockers II • Lashton

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

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Luke really didn't want to share a room, he didn't want someone there when he was changing, or at all, judging his body and probably telling him that he should eat something.

Alex noticed that he was trailing behind slightly, and he seemed lost in thought. "Ashton doesn't want to share a room as much as you," he said, slowing down so the blonde was once again beside him.

Luke came to a halt, his eyes brimming with tears once again. He was ashamed at how emotional he got, mentally beating himself up for it which only made him want to cry more. "You don't understand!" Luke stated, looking down at the carpet that had more stains that he could imagine a cause for.

"I don't Luke. But I can guess how insecure it's making you feel. But it's good to be around people and not to seclude yourself, it'll help you."

Luke didn't believe him, he liked to be alone and that way he could reflect on what he had done wrong and how he would change it next time. Alex sighed, knowing the boy was struggling. "Okay, let's give it a week and if by the end you don't feel any more comfortable, I'll find you your own room." Alex was lying, there were not any vacant rooms for him to be alone so he was praying that Luke and Ashton got along.

Luke nodded, wiping his eyes. He was tired and wanted to sleep. He was glad that he walked quite a bit today, but he felt that he needed to rest in order that he didn't faint.

Alex continued walking and Luke followed until they arrived at a room with a door open, a boy sat on a bed closest to the window, posters scattered over that side of the room, and the other bare and uninviting.

Ashton had heard the footsteps and stood up and grinned. "You must be Luke," he beamed, walking over to the younger boy and holding his hand. Luke reluctantly shook it, overwhelmed by the curly-haired boy's enthusiasm. "Don't be nervous, this place isn't as bad as it seems!"

Luke ignored him and looked the boy up and down. He looked normal, expect his constant smile. Luke envied his body and even thought he was slightly good looking.

Alex shot Ashton an apologetic look for the blondes silence. "Why don't you two introduce yourself to each other, and maybe you could help him unpack Ashton? Luke, I'll be back in a little under an hour for dinner."

Luke noticed his case on his bed as well as another bag with a few other essentials in. Luke turned back to Alex. "You said I could sleep," he complained, wanting to get out of eating dinner."

"You can, if you want to unpack later, but you still have to have dinner," he stated firmly. "Just try and relax a little Luke. Try and calm down and it will make it a lot easier."

Luke huffed and began to unzip his bag, pulling out items and finding somewhere to place them. Alex watched him for a couple of seconds, happy that at least the blonde knew he was going to have stayed here and wasn't trying to escape like some patients. He then let the two boys be, hoping that Luke will be in a better mood in an hours time.

"Hey, let me help you," Ashton said, taking some stuff off the blonde's new bed and placing it on shelves for him. Ashton hadn't been told why Luke was here but he could tell he had an eating disorder. "You're very small," Ashton remarked, placing some shirts on the top shelf of the wardrobe.

Luke scowled at him, not wanting to hear any pity for how big he thought he actually was. "I've grown two inches in the last two months," he stated, knowing he was now taller than his mother. "I am not small."

Ashton bit his lip, knowing Luke was offended. He didn't mean to upset him, he wanted to make him feel better, guessing he'd like being complimented for his malnourished body. "You're still growing?" Ashton asked, looking at the boy again, previously distracted by his discoloured skin and hollowed features. He could see now the youth in his face, the innocence in his eyes. "You can't be that old then?" he asked, figuring the boy was probably sixteen maybe pushing seventeen like himself.

"I'm fifteen," Luke stated, pushing his now-empty suitcase under the bed and collapsing onto the bed. "Feel like I'm one-hundred!" he laughed sadly.

"Aw you're so young," Ashton cooed, sitting beside him. "You're too young to be suffering," he remarked feeling bad that his teenage years were being wasted away in here.

"You're here too, suffering," Luke pointed out. Ashton had been here since he was sixteen and he felt that although he was young, his mental illness had matured him and he deserved it.

"I guess," Ashton sighed, watching the blonde stare up at the ceiling. "It's a horrible colour," he remarked looking up at the ceiling too. "Makes you even more miserable on those sleepless nights."

"You don't sleep too?" Luke asked curiously. He thought it was just him, that his thoughts kept him up to a ridiculous time in the morning.

Ashton laughed at his innocence. "It's not uncommon Luke. Sometimes peoples brains don't shut down properly and we're just laying there thinking about stupid things."

Luke looked over at Ashton, curious as to why he was here. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask, but closed it again thinking it would have been disrespectful. The older boy noticed his hesitation and knew exactly what he wanted to say. "I'm bipolar," Ashton stated. He didn't know if Luke knew what it meant. Luke didn't, so he elaborated. "Sometimes I'll be extremely happy and then suddenly I could be in a depressive state of trying to kill you," he laughed. "But, I've been here long enough and have enough medication to control it."

Luke watched Ashton, so accepting of his disorder and so positive about life and he didn't understand how he could be like that. "I'm glad you're getting better," Luke stated, not wanting to see the kind boy suffer.

Ashton smiled gratefully. "So, can I take a stab as to why you are here? I don't think it's as invisible as mine." Luke nodded, sitting up to engage more in the conversation with his roommate. "You have an eating disorder."

"Apparently I'm anorexic," Luke muttered, trying as hard as he could to postulate why everyone said this, but he was still left confused and didn't see it.

Ashton let his index finger gently prod at the blondes rib. "Do you know I can feel your ribs?" he said, shivering at the feeling of the prominent bones.

Luke looked down at his torso, letting his own finger linger over his ribs, only feeling soft flesh under his finger. Luke shook his head. "I don't feel it," he whispered. "I can't see it as everyone else does."

Ashton smiled sadly, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze. "That's why you're here. When you leave here you will be able to."

Luke sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I think I'm going to take a nap," he said, leaning down and slipping off his shoes. Ashton stood up and gave him his space as he curled up on the bed, his eyes resting.

The older boy caught a glimpse of silver inside of the blondes shoe, unsure if it was what he thought it was. He sat down on the edge of his own bed impatiently, waiting for the blonde to fall asleep.

Around ten minutes later, light snores escaped the blonde's mouth, laying limply and at peace. Ashton picked up the shoe and looked inside, running his finger over a thin piece of metal. Ashton wasn't stupid, he knew what it was and what it was for. He had never used one himself but he knew how precious these were around here.

Ashton couldn't believe that Luke would do such a thing to himself, harm his body even more than he was already. He took the piece of metal and slid it into his pocket. He didn't know what to do, who to tell. He could just throw it in the bin, but then Luke would wonder where it had gone and Ashton didn't want to lose his trust already.

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Thank you so much for reading!