What if

Chapter 18

As the days passes by I fall harder and harder for this boy,
Am I scared? no shit I'm terrified, I never knew such feelings ever existed, not in me at least,

I don't know how this happened, and how it started, but I know that right now it feels so right,

I still find it hard to explain it sometimes, its so unlike me to feel that way

It's been a week now,
Only a week, but it feels like we've been together our whole life, he makes me feel all types of emotions, excitement, happiness, anger, just name it

"So the guy you kissed it was Dylan wasn't it?" Ally asks making me snap back to reality

"What?" I say trying to catch up on what she's saying

"I'm asking if the guy Ethan saw you kissing was Dylan?" She ask with no trace of judgment in her eyes

"Ya" I say trying to look else where

"You know I'm just surprised that you didn't tell me" she sounded hurt

"Ally I'm sorry" it comes out as a whisper

"No really Audrey, I thought we we were closer than this, like you can tell me anything, when Nate told me about you two I was hurt, hurt that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me yourself" she continued "why didn't you tell me?" She asks and I can tell that she was indeed hurt

"To be honest I didn't know what was going on myself, I tried to fight it for so long, and by telling you maybe it would mean that there was something real there" I say embarrassed by my own thoughts

"Why would you fight your feelings? What are you scared of?" She asks more worried now

"Getting hurt" I shrug "I had no control over myself when I'm around him, and that itself freaked the shit out of me, so how will you expect me to let myself fall when I know that I wouldn't be able to collect myself afterward" I say with a tear threatening to fall out any second

"But why would think that way" she asks with her eyes filed with concern

"Because I'm always on control" it's true I love controlling everything around me it's always been that way and it's true, I've always managed to do so, even living back at my parents house I was always the one in charge, I love controlling things if gives me the thrill of feeling secure, that everything is under my control, it's a bit bossy, but that's just who I am, I'm a control freak, I like things to go my way, and my way only

"I know" she say

"I hope from now you start telling me everything, because trust me I won't forgive you next time" she say with a smile on her face as she come closer and she hugs me

"There is no next time" I assure her and she smiles

"I would love to stay and chat with you more, but I promised Nate to meet him in 30 minutes" she say as she hugs me one more time before leaving my room

I grabbed my phone as soon as she left and I texted Dylan

*Hey, what are you up to?*

5 minutes later he replies

*Nothing just standing at your door waiting for you to open it*

I jumped out of bed and I ran toward the door and I opened it

"That's not creepy at all" I shake my head s I open the door "How long have you been standing here"

"Just now actually" he laughs as he pulls me toward him into a tight hug I could barely breathe