sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ᴀᴅᴍɪʀᴇʀ

30

  "well i think you're beautiful."

"Last day of school."

I plop down into bed not believing my own words.

After tons of emotional farewells I was finally in the comfort of my home. It hasn't been really hard because the only person I ever talk to is Johnny. Other people just kinda come around I guess.

I wish he would come around.

I plop back into bed. If he ever decides to come after a week of me ignoring him, I'll apologise. I think. I was a brat.

I impatiently wait for Maddie to knock on the door and tell me Johnny is being annoying and has come again. However, she doesn't.

Annoyed, I sit up and decide to do something. I walk over the my table and I can't help but think again and again about what had happened.

For some reason I started drawing and doodling all over the piece of paper. Before I even knew it,I was writing notes. To Johnny.

To Johnny Orlando
       I really like your eyes.

     I love your smile.

     I love it when you smile.

    You brighten up my life.

    I love when you nag at me

    I love the way you smell

    I love how you always care about me when no one else will.
  
    I love how you're always there even when I don't want you there

    I love your hair.
 
  I love when you call me beautiful

I love you.

I grip my pen anxiously when I realise what I just wrote. I wrote I love him. However, I'm not weirded out.

Because I know I really do.

I sigh in frustration. A sudden knock scared my whole heart out. I immediately stuff all the pieces inside the box and placed it on the bedside table.

I look to the window for some reason, hoping he's gonna be there with his ladder.

Unfortunately it's not him. It's Maddie huffing, with a big pile of laundry in her hands.

"Hey sis." She casually says as she places the clean pressed clothes on my bed.

"What you doing?" She asks me and I feel myself blush.

"Nothing."

"Isn't that what we all say?"

I ignore her and wave her off. She walks out humming and I sigh with her gone. "Oh I heard that sigh by the way!" She peaked her head around my door.

"Sigh like that one more time and I won't tell you that Johnny is here next time."

"He's here?"

"No."

"Phew."

"Actually yes he's here he is downstairs."

I stare at her not to sure if I should believe her. She's probably not serious anyways right? She chuckles and leaves me with a bigger headache than before.

Someone walks in the door at the moment and my overreacting self jumps out. "MOM DONT LET HIM IN, PLEASE-"

"I'm sorry." I look up to find John looking at me earnestly.

I find myself unable to speak. He pulls my chair as he sits next to my bed. "I'm sorry." He repeats again.

I just nod my head. He lets out a devastated look. "Look kenzie I know you're mad but just say something or something or I don't know! I-"

"I'm not mad." I manage to let out.

His head snaps back up. "What?"

"I'm just.. disappointed."

He opens his mouth but I decide to let my torrent come out as I cut him off.

"You're popular and good looking, you don't understand. I've been fat my whole life. I feel ugly. It's the first time someone ever liked me. It's - I don't know I feel appreciated. I feel beautiful. I feel honoured knowing people like me as who I am. That someone  ugly as me, could ever be liked-"

He cuts me off. "Listen kenzie, I just did it to boost your confidence because-"

"That's the whole problem! Don't you get it?! I don't want to be pitied. I want it to be real. I hate the thought of being vulnerable and useless,  being pitied on. I'm not a pity case. I feel lied to. You told me you knew nothing about it!"

"It wasn't pity Mackenzie, I swear I didn't do it out a pity-"

"Then what was it?" I challenged him. "What did you do it out from?"

He gulped and took something out of his pocket. He held it in his hand tensely.

"Give me your hand."He demands.

I look at him and for a minute I'm lost. I'm so confused by the thousand things running through my mind.

"Shit." He mumbles under his breath. He lets out a sound when I don't pass him my hand. Taking matter in his own hands, he reaches over and takes my box.

I instantly jerk up. "NO JOHN DONT OPEN-"

"Mackenzie..?" He hesitates slightly. "What's this?"

I peek my eyes open a little bit to see him gaping at the notes in my tiny box.

I look up at him wondering what he thinks now. I'm doomed. Let me die.

"Do you.... love me?" He asks , clutching the paper.

I look at him to try to explain this whole mess but he he kisses me.

Johnny Orlando,  my neighbour of 11 years, best friend since forever kissed me.

He pulls back instantly and looks into my eyes while touching my face. "Kenzie-"

I shut him up and lean forward, pressing his lips against with mine. It's not what I ever imagined. It's not what they say in books. But I liked it. A lot.

We pulled back and he stared me. He touches his lip lightly and I look down. Where do we do from here? I still couldn't process what just happened.

We stared at each other  awkwardly.

He gulps and pulls my hand towards him. Clutching my hand tightly, he drops a piece of crinkled up paper. It has extremely messy handwriting and a familiar format.

Kenzie Ziegler.
             I love you.

                  -Johnny Orlando.

A/n
This boook is ending oof. It's a bit messy became I keep changing the characters and the plot along the way but I'll edit the whole book.  Anyways I think there will be a epilogue and that's it! I'll probably add a lot more scenes into the chapters to lengthen them too I guess.